While death is never something a person enjoys thinking about, it is a reality. A reality that hits hard. It is no surprise that losing a loved one affects someone dramatically. It is hard to describe just how difficult coping without my grandparents has been. There have been countless times that I want to call them and tells them exciting news, and I am quickly saddened with the reminder that they are not on this earth any longer.

There are times that I tell myself I am okay, but it is more unbearable to live with the reality that I cannot hold my Nuna and Papa's hands anymore.

I was there to hold both of their hands while they took their last breath. It is difficult to try and not remember them for that in their last moments on earth.

I will never forget their funerals. I was surrounded by many loved ones and those who loved them dearly. But I was missing the people that really mattered most to me. Even though everyone who knew them was devastated, I could never understand why they were taken from me. I was selfishly angered for so long until I realized that they both left such amazing legacies on earth, and it was unfair of me to not realize the greater purpose.

My Nuna. My sweet Nuna who taught me to love the Food Network, the art of cooking and gardening. My sweet Nuna who shared a love of sweet tea with my brothers and I. We were at their sweet little home every day after school, visited on the weekends, and we were blessed enough to share their last days with them.

But even still, nothing will ever come close to the heart-wrenching feeling of losing the two people that impacted me the most.

All I wanted was for them to see me walk across the stage with diploma in hand, standing there after to congratulate me on my hard work. I dreamed of the day my grandparents would sit in the flesh on the front row watching me walk down the aisle.

My Papa. My sweet Papa who would ask me to go to the store with him. He challenged my brothers and me to race to go get the mail, just to be rewarded with a Snickers bar. My sweet Papa who always had "Bill O'Reilly", "Bonanza", "I Love Lucy", or "Sanford and Sons" on in the background even when he napped in his chair. The man who always told me stories and kept me laughing.

It was a slight thought in the back of my mind. I never even tried to imagine my life without them. But there is nothing I would not do just to watch T.V. with either of them. Or to eat my Nuna's breakfast or many cakes one more time.

The ones who created my admiration for Fleetwood Mac and The Eagles. The ones who showed me why candy was its own food group. The ones who never let me doubt that I was loved. And for that, I cannot help but smile when I think of them.

I had to grow up and learn to live with the fact my favorite people are no longer here on earth. But in my heart, forever they will be. While your grandparents are with you, never take a moment for granted. Take every piece of advice and grow with it. You will never want to forget what it's like to hold their hand and conversation.