Women are raised to learn to respect themselves before respecting others. I have learned this the hard way. Being single in your late teenage years, and early adult years is hard. It's hard because everyone in our society isn't looking for a relationship. They are looking for someone they can go to when they need something. Being single means you are seen more as someone who will just have fun because they are single. Over the years, I have learned how important it is to not let someone take advantage of you like that. I've learned to start being the girl who is never available.
Being available means that you are giving boys the chance to take advantage of you. Once you are available one time, they will think that from here on out that you are always going to be available.
It takes time to realize that you can't be the girl who is always free as soon as a guy texts you. You have to learn not to reply as soon as you see his name on your phone screen. Give it 5-10 minutes because odds are, he reads your message right away and doesn't respond for sometimes hours later. Let him wait on you. Let him be the one to realize that you haven't texted him back in 2 minutes.
Don't be the girl who responds to his "Where you at texts" at 2am. Even if you are up, don't respond. As much as you want to just go over and chill with him. Don't. That never ends well. For him, you show him that you have no limits no matter what time of day it is, and so he will ask you over and over again in the future for the same thing. For you, it shows that you will always be that girl to him, and it doesn't give you something to walk away happily. It gives you thoughts like that wasn't just a one night thing, or he actually likes me because if he didn't then he wouldn't have texted me. So just don't answer those lat night texts.
Don't fall for his drunk texts that say "I miss you, and I want you." Yes drunk texts could me sober thoughts, but that's the thing. It COULD. Not always. Nine out of ten times he is telling you that because he knows that you will fall for his trap." Don't fall for the drunk trap.
If he needs help with school, don't jump to ask if he needs help. Let him come to you. When he does, give him advice to go to the library or talk to someone in his class. If no one can help him at this point, then help. But tell him it was to be at the library because being in each others room never ends to a good thing.
So what if he just stopped talking to another girl, don't let him charm you into thinking he likes you again. He's only thinking about himself when he does this. He is "hurt", he wants attention and he knows you will give it to him.
You need to start having respect for yourself, because honey you are a lot better than that. You deserve a boy who makes himself available for YOU. You need someone who will drop whatever they are doing to help you. Yes, it's okay to be available when you feel it's best. But don't make it a habit.
Carry your head high, and have guys wait around for you because you are so young to be giving up all your time to help a dumb boy who doesn't even feel the same way about you.
Let the boy make plans with you outside the bedroom. Let him buy you flowers or take you to dinner. Live out your twenties while you can. You don't want to look back on life and think that you should've done other things than be available for a dumb boy.
Be the girl who isn't always free. Be the girl who makes a boy put in work. Be the girl who respects herself.
