In case you missed the it (or was so deep into binge watching Scandal on Netflix that you just now realized what day it was), the 2016 Grammy Awards occurred this past Monday night. To the shock and appall of some, but no surprise to Swifties everywhere, Taylor Swift walked home with the most coveted award of the night, Album of the Year for her smash hit 1989. This wasn’t a first for Taylor, who made note of her second time on stage for this particular honor by recognizing that she was the first woman ever to win twice. Taylor used this moment to send a very powerful message, one that aligned with what I believe her entire album and life since it’s release has been screaming from the rooftops. Taylor said:
“There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame. But if you just focus on the work and you don’t let those people sidetrack you, someday you’ll look around you’ll know it was you and the people who love you who put you there and that will be the greatest feeling in the world.”
and mic drop.
Taylor’s speech, no matter what egomaniac celebrity it was probably about (I’m looking at you, Kanye), is a shout out to the haters in it’s most pure form and if you have been following Taylor’s 1989 success you’ll realize what a truly inspiring transformation has taken place over the course of Taylor’s career. Taylor has spent the last two years carefully crafting her message to a world that pigeon holed her, stereotyped her, and never believed she’d get to where she is today and that is an experience that I can truly resonate with.
Over the past year I’ve realized something pretty awesome. I am basically Taylor Swift.
Just kidding. But I have noticed that it seems like Taylor Swift albums have been following me throughout my life and have seemed to sync perfectly with whatever I had been going through. Hopeful, romantic young Taylor and I shared the same idealistic dreams that a boy would complete us with Fearless. I dreamed of love stories and white horses and the guys I thought would never notice me.
Speak Now followed me through my first years of being in love and experiencing the roller coaster of emotions that came with being young and in love.
And then came Red. This album came perfectly into my life while going through a breakup and realizing that I needed to start over. With it’s first single “We Are Never Getting Back Together” blasting through my roommate's car stereo, I started collecting the pieces of my shattered heart. I will never forget the July night I stood crying along with my best friend, both of us working through our first serious break ups and uncertain of how to start to mend ourselves, as Taylor sang “All Too Well” to a crowd of thousands at Lincoln Financial Field. It was a moment where I truly recognized my pain and resonated with the fact that my best friend, Taylor Swift, and countless girls with their eyes closed and hearts open around me knew exactly what I was feeling and that we were all going to be just fine. Months later when I turned 22 and began an amazing journey of finding myself, Taylor was right there with me again.
Fast forward to 2014. It was summer. My hair was long. I had graduated college and was beginning graduate school. I had my own car, and I had spent the last year of my life falling in love with myself, my body, and freedom. I shed 90lbs of physical weight along with the emotional weight that had been holding me back, and I was alone and thrilled about it. I was in all ways, both outward and in, a different person than the one who stood crying at the Red world tour the summer before. I was writing and posting about my success and I was truly living and celebrating life. But of course, as my girl Tswift can attest to, success comes with amazing, supportive praise; but also with a barrage of hate. I was surprised at first that not everyone would be happy for me. After all, I was positively beaming from self assured pride and renewed enthusiasm for life, how could that not be something to be excited about? I had gotten through depression, a lifetime of being trapped in a body I hated, and gotten over and moved on from lost love. How could anyone twist that into something ugly and undesirable?
It was the first time I realized that not everyone is going to be rooting for me to succeed.
Some people view other people’s happiness as a reminder that they themselves are not as happy as they could be. Instead of using that as inspiration to seek out their own happiness, it is much easier to choose bitterness and undercut someone else’s success. In the quiet whispers in between every shout of praise I received, I heard them. “She really doesn’t look that great.” “I don’t believe she lost that much weight.” “She thinks she’s so hot now.” “Her writing is good but I wish she’d stop writing about relationships.” “She should just get over herself.” I heard them, so much that I started to believe them and starting adding to them myself. “You could stand to lose more weight.” “You’ll never be good enough, pretty enough, funny enough.” Enough. That August day in 2014 when I heard “Shake It Off” for the first time, I remember thinking once again, “Taylor you nailed it.” Taylor and I both had had enough of the haters. We had enough of the people who didn’t want us to write our truth or live in the way we want to, to celebrate being the best versions of ourselves. Taylor surrounded herself with people who loved her and were ready to celebrate her success and she in turn helped those she loved by promoting their greatness as well. Taylor dropped out of the catty, toxic world of listening to her haters and decided to throw in back in their face instead.
And on February 15th, 2016, while haters took to Twitter and Facebook to spew angry, bitter words about Taylor’s win, who she is, everything that she stands for as an artist and a person; my head was full of Taylor Swift Lyrics and my heart was singing right along.
“One day I’ll be living in a big old city and all you’re ever gonna be is mean, One day I’ll be big enough that you can’t hit me, and all you’re ever gonna be is mean.”
and of course:
“And the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate. Baby, I’m just gonna shake shake shake shake shake.
I Shake It Off. I Shake It Off.
