Listen. I get it. It's 2017. The days of not being able to find someone on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, or like a few of their Instagram photos in hopes of giving someone a hint are over. Instead of approaching a girl you may never see again, we add each other on social media and the rest is history.
But can I give you gentlemen some advice? (If the answer is no... Go ahead and stop reading because it's coming your way.)
Our days are filled with social media. Which means you see a girl? You like the girl (or her pictures). You message the girl. Pretty simple.
But boys. Come on. Is this the best you can do?
Now let's get something straight before we continue on, shall we? Yes, I understand NOT ALL MALES are out there relying solely on social media for their dating life. Yes, I understand sometimes the circumstances are different and social media is the only way you could truly reach out to an individual. NO, I am not saying if you meet your soulmate on social media then you're doing it all wrong AND I am most definitely not taking away anything from anyone who is currently in a relationship because of a little help from social media! But WHAT I AM SAYING is that it's time to rise up as men and start intentionally pursuing a single individual, however that may look. It's time to start choosing ONE girl and stop fishing for 15 and seeing who responds.
CAUTION: At this point if you're still reading, you are approaching the part where I am going to continue giving you a girls perspective on the matter. So here we go, ten quick and easy ways to get a girl to ignore your "sweet" message faster than you can say single:
1. You ask her for her Snapchat before you ask anything about her.
Not that I wouldn't love to be added to your repertoire of females you snap but I think I'm going to have to pass on this one. Nothing says I have the right intentions more than "hey, add me on snap."
2. You misspell a simple word in your four-word sentence (that's 25%).
A simple sentence like "Hey, how are you?" should never be spelled incorrectly. I'm sorry but if you don't have the time of day to proofread your four words before you send them... I don't have the time to respond.
3. Your profile picture is of you and your girl.
Sorry, not sorry. The moment I see you have a current girlfriend is the moment that your "hey you're really pretty" means nothing.
4. You don't use punctuation.
can I get a capital letter and a punctuation mark at the end of your vague and endearing comment or is that too much to ask for
5. While you are messaging me, you add my roommate on Facebook.
I'm just going to leave that there and let you find as much humor in that as I did. Really? Your unconvincing "I don't do this often" is void. Bye, Felicia.
6. You get mad at me before I respond.
Sorry, dude. If I'm not responding it's for a valid reason. Oh, and your rude and annoyed comment towards me? Wow. Did we just have our first fight before we even engaged in conversation? Sounds fun, let's date.
7. You don't spell out your words.
Not that a simple sentence can't be flattering, but the "hey u r rly pretty" comes across a little effortless. Do I not deserve the rest of the letters or did you not have enough time to write it all out? Either way... I can't get passed the lack of effort already on day one.
8. You give off the vibe that messaging girls is a normal thing for you.
I want to be chosen and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's how it should be. Therefore, as soon as I realize I am just another girl to add to your list of ladies. I'm out.
9. When you do get a response, you blow it.
If a girl messages you back... The next few messages are critical. She opened the door but that doesn't mean she can't shut it twice as fast. Choose your next words wisely.
10. Girls want more than to be pursued via social media.
If you have the opportunity to talk to a girl face-to-face... I promise you it will go a whole lot farther than through an app on your phone.
I tell my friends all the time that I'm glad as girls we do not have to carry the pressure of pursuing someone. I'm not going to take away from how intimidating that must be as a guy.
I mean why not use social media to your advantage? I guess my question is... Are you using it to your advantage or are you turning it into a disadvantage?
I have plenty of friends who have ended up in successful relationships thankful to the use of social media. I'm not saying it doesn't work and that there is anything wrong if that's your story. I'm just saying, there is a right way to go about it.
Boys, social media gives y'all the easy way out, let's be honest. If you're going to take this route, then use it to your advantage. If you want to come across as honestly genuine and endearing then be honestly genuine and endearing. All of these scenarios come from personal experience, and I have decided to speak my mind on the matter.
Sure, be annoyed but I am annoyed at how our world has allowed "pursuing someone" to be so effortless, every day, and UNINTENTIONAL.