My freshman year in high school was a time when I wasn't the happiest person alive. I had to battle multiple pits of depression and anxiety and it became the only thing I thought about. I was so wrapped up in my own personal sadness that I started to let go and leave behind my friends, hobbies, and other things that once brought happiness into my life.
It was a time that I was at my lowest of lows and I couldn't seem to find a way to cope. That was until my friend, who was also struggling at the time, told me that she painted as a means to cope. She told me that she painted whenever she felt uneasy or anxious and that it had helped her calm her thoughts tremendously. She also told me that she thought it would help me during my rough patches, so I ultimately agreed to try it out for her.
At first, I was just painting whatever came to mind. I found that I really liked to paint sunsets - even though they just looked like painted lines on a paper.I also started to incorporate inspirational quotes onto my paintings. I spent hours at night just painting whatever I felt like. My emotions just spilling on the page. Yes, that dramatic.
I quickly noticed how calm I would become while painting; there we no longer the worries that I usually had on my mind.
One day, I decided to post a photo of one of my paintings on my Instagram just for the heck of it, and one of my followers told me that I should start painting on a regular basis because I was really good at it. At first, I kind of just brushed off the compliment because I just saw my paintings as average and just something to help me cope with my feelings, not a hobby. But then, another friend that went to my school told me I should join the school's art club. I signed up my sophomore year a little hesitantly due to having only one close friend in the whole club, but nonetheless, I was excited.
After going to art club after school on Thursdays, I picked up watercolor painting and made loads of new friends. And that's when something clicked. I found a new passion for art. I wasn't just painting to calm my nerves anymore, I was painting because I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would find myself painting hours on end just to see where the paintbrush would take me. None of my original plans would match the ending project, but I liked that. It was just part of the process.
Since then, I have been painting for a good three years now, and I am much, much happier. I don't think I would put all my happiness on my love for painting, but it was a huge part of my journey to self-happiness.
If anyone of you finds yourself in a dark place, do not push away all that makes you happy and who you are. Find ways to bring yourself back to a better, lighter place. Whether that be by surrounding yourself with family and friends, learning from your faith, or finding a new hobby. Just know that life is too short to be caught up in all the bad.
