On a nice summer day, I was enjoying myself with family and friends. Then all of a sudden a dark cloud comes over me and I just stop. I feel sad, anxious, hopeless and I lost interest in everything surrounding me. I find a place where I could be alone and then tears slowly drip down my face. I never understood why those feelings came over me, everything in my life was going fine. Sometimes I wonder why it had to be me suffering through this disorder, but let me tell you, it has made me stronger than I ever was as a person.

Seconds, minutes, hours, days and months would pass. I stayed and cried in my room without a sound. To the world, you probably don’t know that I have depression. I seem happy from the outside, but looking in, I was suffering. That’s the thing about depression, much of it is behind closed doors. Don’t get me wrong many of my closest friends and family saw that something was ruining me inside, but there wasn't much they could do. Slowly, I withdrew myself from family and friends.

There are times when just thoughts run through my head. Overthinking was honestly my best friend. I think about every person who has hurt me and felt guilty at myself. I felt lost and alone in a world with billions of people. I kept on telling myself that didn’t deserve the good life that I have, that I didn't deserve to be loved or care for. The hardest part was eating because I never had an appetite. I cried myself to sleep because that was the only way to fall asleep.

I suffered from severe depression for about two years. Nothing was wrong with my life, but I found every little thing that was. I have amazing family and friends but it felt like my world was falling apart. What I have learned from the many years of suffering through depression is that sometimes the only way to overcome it, is to find peace with it. So I never really overcame, I just accepted the fact that those thoughts aren’t always going to be there and someday it will get better. Yes, depression can be stopped, but at times, it still comes back and haunts me. But the times I don’t have those depressing thoughts running through my mind I am making the most of my life. I am enjoying life to the fullest and being happy while I can.

The months, days and hours of depression are fading. Now I only have minutes or seconds of those thoughts. At times, the dark cloud still comes over me and that’s OK because I have learned that without the suffering I wouldn’t have learned how to push through and I wouldn't be who I am today.