I was sitting around the kitchen table with my mom a couple nights ago, having one of our impromptu deep conversations about life and how different it was for her growing up in the late 80’s. I've learned from her stories that drinking and partying is not the same today as it used to be then; society has changed, the laws have toughened, and today’s substances as we all know can be laced with deadly ingredients.

We started talking about how sometimes the stresses of life cause her to want to drink them away like she could when she was a young adult. (Don’t we all feel this way sometimes?) But she was referring specifically to the moment that she calls “the tipping point”… the point of no return which can lead to regrets.

Then, my mom was saying how she couldn’t imagine us kids having to receive a phone call saying that something tragic had happened to her due to drinking and partying, especially because she is all that we have. My mom said that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself knowing that she let that happen. My sister, brother and I all live with our mom with no connection to our father anymore. All of our grandparents have passed away too and my mom’s side of the family is on the other side of the United States. So, yes, my mom is really all that we have.

It wasn't until I was sitting at the kitchen table that night hearing my mom say those words that I realized how much her sobriety and honesty meant to me and how much us kids meant to her. My mom could pretty much drink every day if she so desired to because we’re all usually at work when she is home. But the important thing is that she doesn’t. She hasn’t consumed alcohol in quite some time and that is because she realizes how much we need her and rely on her. She also knows where drinking leads her and doesn’t want to go down that oftentimes dark and horrifying road.

My mom’s sobriety is an inspiration to me because she is fighting her own demons, which many people can’t say that they’ve done successfully. On top of that, she could continue on with her old ways of drinking and partying, but she chooses not to. She chooses to be present and clear-minded for her kids and I don’t know many people who do that.

Honestly, most of my friend’s parents drink with dinner or drink to the point of belligerence in front of their kids. I never thought much of it though because it happens so frequently. In no way am I shaming the parents who do drink with dinner or have gatherings at their house with alcohol and friends, but I think there is a necessary limit for everything, which I’ve learned from my mom. And that night, I finally understood that I prefer my mom’s way of sobriety so much more.

I never have to worry about her drunk driving, overdosing on drugs, drunkenly bringing guys home from the bar, or spending all of her money on alcohol (because I’ve seen parents do this and then not have the money to support their family). Most importantly, I can rely on her to be there for me in the middle of the night because I know she will be sober. That’s not to say I don’t want my mom to have fun, but she has taught me one of the most important lessons I now know today: I can have fun without alcohol or drugs. I can go to concerts sober and remember every single second of it and still enjoy myself. I can rely on myself to drive back when I can’t rely on a drunk friend to be the driver.

I can be sober and still be happy and content with my life without waking up full of regrets.