Anxiety sucks. There's no way around it, anxiety is just a struggle for anyone. Even harder is combating it without supportive people to help you when you can't help yourself. I am blessed enough to be surrounded by people who care enough to understand my anxiety and know how to help me when things get too overwhelming. Here are just a few of the things they do for me to help me live a healthy life while combating a silent killer.
Picking up on the little things and reacting
No matter how hard I try, when I'm anxious, I have tells. You know, cues that can clue someone into how I'm feeling or where my head is at. When I'm upset, the pitch of my voice gets higher and higher, usually until I cry. When I'm in a crowd and get panicked, I shut down or cling to people's sides. If I'm just generally uncomfortable or on the verge of an attack, I get really quiet and zone out. To most, these are just silly little things. But to my friends, they know that these are signs I'm not doing well and a cue that I need some help. Having people that notice these and do everything from ask if I'm okay to just removing me from the situation is a blessing I can't appreciate enough.
Talking me down even when I'm being irrational
The week of finals, I texted one of my bigs absolutely freaking out. I kept saying I was going to fail and there was no way I'd be able to continue doing all that I do next semester because of it. Everything I was telling him was completely anxiety fueled and incredibly irrational. You know what happened though? He just kept talking to me about the things. When I said my GPA would drop, he reminded me that I already was doing well. When I said I was going to fail all my classes, he told me it wasn't possible because of the rest of the grades in each class. When I said I wouldn't be able to continue with Greek next semester, he kept insisting there was no way anyone would let that happen. He kept combating each of my illogical worries with facts and honesty until I was okay, even though I'm sure there were a few moments of eye-rolling and jokingly questioning why we're even friends.
Remembering things that help me when I'm sad
Everyone has different things that are basically guaranteed no-fail ways to cheer them up. Tea, puppies, kittens, that dumb picture from 8th grade that makes you laugh because of how terrible you look. For me, it's music. I know all the words to a large quantity of songs and have a really hard time resisting the urge to sing, so there are many-a-day where songs I like get played so that no matter how much I want to cry, I can't stop myself from belting. Taking a break outside is another thing that stops me from losing it and one of my favorite people has become pretty accustomed to telling me, firmly but lovingly, that I need to just take a walk. Though these be but small parts of my life, knowing that my friends use them for good is comforting.
Understanding when I can't go out
I can only handle so much time out and about. Between my physical health problems and introverted tendencies, there are a lot of days that I just can't get myself to get out of the apartment. Past friends used to hold this against me, acting as if not wanting to go everywhere and do everything all the time, instead preferring nights in made me a worse friend somehow. Having people who understand that I'm not avoiding them when I say I need to stay in and who instead, are willing to make plans that involve being home are the wonderful kind of people who I have now. They know that sometimes the day calls for low-key plans and that it doesn't diminish our friendships one bit.
Never judging me for being openly and unabashedly not okay
Being anxious is just another part of who I am and for once in my life, I have more than a few people who completely respect that. They don't treat it as a detriment to who we are together or an inconvenience in their lives. They don't talk to others about how much I'm seeking attention or how I'm completely ignoring them when I'm having a bad day. Rather than taking my anxiety and using it against me, my friends treat it as something as integral to me as the color of my hair and my height - it just is. I don't feel afraid to express my worries, to have a breakdown, to be honest when asked if I'm okay, any of my previous concerns because I know that I will be loved and accepted with open arms.
