The first time I ever lost a dog was in the wake of Hurricane Isabel in 2003. I was six years old and I had only known our Siberian Husky, Timber for a short period of my life. Yet, losing him was a gigantic blow to me, along with my entire family. I will never forget the night when we had to unexpectedly put him to sleep due to a rapidly-growing tumor in his stomach and a surgery that had failed in healing him. All five members of my family ended up sitting on our kitchen floor and balling our eyes out at the sudden loss of our sweet companion.
Losing a dog, as many people have noted in the past, is like losing a member of your family because pets are a member of the family. Whenever we lose a pet, the thought of getting another animal can seem fruitless. We know that we will eventually have to watch it pass on and we also do not want to feel as if we are trying to replace the old one. For these reasons, it would end up taking my family two years to finally be able to bring another dog into the house.
When you get a pet, you know that it will eventually leave you, but it is not a prevalent thought in your mind. It feels as if the time you will spend with your animal will be eternal, and their passing away is so far ahead there is no need to worry about it. At the age of eight years old, no one can tell you that the German Shepherd you just received as a birthday present will be gone eleven years from that moment, when you are a freshman in college.
This past weekend, I lost another dog from my life, one who was with me almost all the way through my public education. My dog, Baron had suffered from arthritis since the age of three, but with a prescription of steroids and support from our family, he had learned to persevere through it. He had brought me joy throughout my life, and I was devastated to have to leave him when I started at William and Mary this past fall.
Throughout the past couple months, his health had gradually become worse. He suffered from a case of pancreatitis, which led to terrible stomach issues, and in the result of this sickness, his arthritis started to get worse as well. When I visited him on Friday evening, I was stunned to find that he did not even greet me at the door, as usual. Instead, I discovered him lying on the floor of our den, with his tail wagging in excitement, but without the strength to even stand.
My visit was due to my parents warning me that his condition had gotten worse. Although they had already visited the veterinarian and were using medicine to try to ease his pain, these efforts were not working, and his body had reached an irreversible state. It looked as if this would be the last time I would ever see my dog.
Therefore, on Saturday morning, my mother woke me and told me that we would be putting Baron to sleep. I watched as my father and brother had to carry his helpless body to the car, and I cried with my mother and father on the floor of the veterinarian’s office, as we petted him for one last time before he was injected with a drug that would let him peacefully slip away in the span of a minute.
As we stroked his body and ran our fingers through his soft fur, we watched as he slowly stopped moving and his breaths ran out. The moment was surreal and completely different from my past experience with the death of a dog. However, it was comforting to me getting to see him up until his last moment and being able to demonstrate my love and care for him up until the end.
In the aftermath of this tragedy, I have been reflecting on the time that I spent with Baron. Instead of looking at his death as a frustration, I have spent the last few days thinking about all of the lessons he taught me across my life. Although we cannot spend our entire lives with our pets, there is a reason that we keep getting them. Animals can teach us so many things within our lives, and my dog specifically helped me with maturity.
At a young age, I was a selfish person. I focused mainly on the things that I wanted, and I dedicated my time and my efforts solely to that. Nevertheless, once I received Baron, I had to begin learning how to dedicate my time to others. My parents had me feed him, brush him, scoop his poop from the back yard, and other jobs that were not always the most appealing to me, but I did them anyways, because I loved my dog.
Baron also taught me patience. Most children expect their dogs to instantly adore them and to listen to their every command; this was not the case with him. Baron was a feisty, recalcitrant, little rascal who challenged all of us day to day. I was forced to be patient with him and wait for our relationship to grow, as my parents worked to improve his obedience. Over time, he learned to listen to me and to care for me, but I had to endure the rocky beginning with composure.
Finally, Baron taught me love. He was not always the most touchy dog and he definitely liked his space. Thus, I had to learn how to not crowd him and not hug him for too long before he got upset. But, even though he liked having his space, he was still super affectionate. He always licked my face, or ran to the door when I came home. He always followed one of us outside to play ball and even hid in our bedrooms when it stormed outside. He was always trying to get us to play a game no matter what we were doing, and it was rare to find him alone when there was someone else in the house. Baron showed us that he loved each and every one of us and he wanted our attention more than anything else (except maybe some food).
Of course, I am sad without him. The thought of having to come home on breaks and not see his smiling face at the door is heartbreaking; the thought of seeing our floors bare and not having to wipe hair off of my clothing is depressing; and the thought of having no one to hug and pet when the next storm hits is devastating. Our house and our lives will feel so much emptier without him. But instead of crying, I have to try to be positive and think about all of the happiness he brought me for so many years. He shaped me into the man I am today and for that, I am eternally grateful. It is not possible for me to be angry that he could not stay with us forever and it is not possible for me to regret our decision of getting a pet. Because whether or not they get to stay with us forever, our time with our pets is unforgettable and irreplaceable, and I would not trade it for anything else in the world.
