How to Live with a Two-Year Old | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

How to Live with a Two-Year Old

Living with a much younger sibling, broken down into a daily routine.

21
How to Live with a Two-Year Old
Quote Addicts

First get woken up at 6:30am every morning by having your sibling, male or female, step all over your face and neck.

Next, drag yourself into the world of the living by crawling into the kitchen to make some “seriul” for them. Make sure you get the right cereal or they will cry to mom or get you in trouble.

After having made their cereal, proceed to try and hide from your sibling as you begin to get dressed; cringing as they glom onto your leg.

Holding your pants up, waddle from room to room looking for your mother or something else to distract the creatine that is stuck to your leg.

Complain as your sister climbs up your leg somehow stuck to your waist as you continue to battle them to get to the door. Deal with having to hear them scream as you bolt from the house having found only a momentary distraction.

Sigh as they FaceTimes you, and smile at the undefinable cuteness they radiate over the screen. Talk to them on your mic as though they were actually there.

Return home to see them running around with the dog butt naked, as they see you and immediately attack your leg, as though they were the puppy.

Cringe as you try to work on homework and your sibling continually takes your eraser or pen throwing them about, or as you hear nothing. For if you hear nothing, there is something clearly amiss.

Flip all of your shit as your sibling licks your face and bites your shins. Having no reason but “I’m a tiger”. Laugh as your mother becomes the one being assaulted.

Try to relax in your sleeping bag, though it may be strange, have to deal with your sibling sitting on your face and ‘cutting the cheese’ making it unbearable in the hot bag. Their face cutting into a sly grin as they own up to the awful stench.

Grab your nearest electronic and turn on to a mindless tv show in order to get some peace and quiet. End up getting sat on as they enjoy the show.


Walk into the kitchen to grab yourself something to eat before dinner is made and be hounded constantly to give them some though they can't have any.

Experience a temper tantrum and be blamed for having them fall out. Roll your eyes as your sibling evilly smiles at you, their tiny sharp teeth covered in your sweet chocolate chip ice cream.

Help to distract your now crabby sibling as your mom goes to cook. Don’t tickle them too much or they will kick.

Try to cram in any homework you might have forgotten about and end up getting tiny handprints all over the page as your sibling has just finished eating.

Fight your sibling on whether they need a diaper or not. Potty training hasn’t quite gotten very popular. Proceed this with caution, for they know how to use their limbs for evil.

Praise God for the silence that ensues as your sibling begins to wind down. Now the silence can be counted as a win.

Admire the sheer adorable and vulnerable face as your sibling sleeps in your mother's room, far from you. Close the door so they don’t hear the fun in the living room.

Have a late night with just the girls, ice cream and Sherlock. Only to be disturbed as your sibling wakes up alone, worried that everyone had left.

Continue to watch tv until late at night knowing that the next morning you will have to repeat the cycle.

Go to bed and revel in the thought that tomorrow your own personal alarm will wake you up.

Finally fall asleep after thirty minutes of laying awake and staring at the ceiling dreaming of how you’ll be woken up tomorrow.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

635826
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading... Show less

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

529963
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading... Show less
Relationships

The Importance Of Being A Good Person

An open letter to the good-hearted people.

807434
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments