When I myself struggled with depression, I only ever thought about how horrible I felt. I never considered how it felt to be my loved ones, my family members, my friends. Since then, I have met so many people who have struggled through similar experiences. Through this, I have learned how it feels to be the friend, the significant other, the family member to someone who felt the same way that I did.
When one of my significant others told me that they were depressed, I thought that it was going to be easy to help them because, hey, if I could get through it, so could they easily. That's when I realized just how wrong I was. Soon after meeting them, I learned that many of the people in my closest friend groups and many of the people that I talked to every day struggled just like my significant other did. In learning about all of their experiences, I learned that depression is different for every person, and I learned that it is almost equally as difficult to stand by someone with depression as it is to have it yourself. I have now stood at both sides of that.
How does it feel to love someone struggling with depression? I'm not referring to love in a romantic way necessarily, love in any kind of way. Boyfriend, girlfriend, family, friends, any body. You feel so helpless, because these people that you love are feeling so awful. Sometimes you feel desperate just to help them. Sometimes that desperation can do more harm than good because you aren't giving the person the space that they need sometimes. Most of all, you start to feel a stronger sense of love for that person, because you know that they need that love and you want nothing more than to help them.
As one who has had, and helped with depression, I can tell you firsthand that having people there to back you through the fight is one of the most important things in recovery. To anyone who has a loved one who is fighting depression, stand by them. They need you, even if they don't show it. Give them their space but make sure that they know that you are there. To anyone who may be struggling with depression themselves, let the people trying to help you in. I promise, being alone all the time is not going to make it better. Having a support system in your fight is important. And most importantly, never, ever give up.
