The life of a zookeeper is draining - I spent hours a day shoveling feces, moving massive objects and chopping food into microscopic pieces. It was, however, the job that eventually challenged my feelings on animal captivity and the path of my life.

When I was 19 years old, I got my first internship at a zoo. I always aspired to work with animals - and I almost always spent two weekends a month there, anyways. This was a dream. I worked alongside the keepers in the giraffe environment, mostly, keeping their habitats clean and making their food. It was a grueling few months.

In my care, most days, were four giraffes, over 10 rock hyrax and many birds. We treated the animals incredibly well. My boss was very strict on the way environments were cleaned and maintained. Giraffes are easily spooked and very visually oriented, so everything in their path always looked the same; something out of place could scare them. Food was not to be given to the animals unless it was the perfect ripeness and size (the rule was always “if you wouldn’t eat it, don’t you dare give it to them”). They are not allowed to go outside if the temperature fell under a very specific guideline. They were always kept together as to not make them unnecessarily stressed. They had some room to run and space to relax outside.

But, there was a downfall. Their habitats were too small. There wasn’t enough room inside for them to do much but walk in circles for hours at a time. And while there was more much more space for them to roam outside, it still wasn’t enough and they couldn’t utilize it often because the weather wasn’t usually warm. These incredible and powerful creatures were locked away with no possible way out. The best care couldn’t change that fact.

This is the aspect of my internship that forever changed my opinions of confinement. Even if the animals receive premier care from the most loving and nurturing keepers, is it okay to keep them away from their natural environments? Is confinement acceptable, even in an environment like the Toronto Zoo where animals have an exorbitant amount of space to roam free? The best habitats still do not replicate their natural homes. This leads to a more philosophical question: even if they’re being treated well, is it morally permissible to allow an animal to live in an environment where their natural capacities aren’t being developed? Just because we can lock them up, does it mean we should? For good reason, this is something that people all over the world argue.

I spent eight hours a day caring for these animals. I learned to differentiate between the giraffes with a quick glance. I talked to them and learned their personalities. I made their food and cleaned up after them. I spent an hour every day in cages with the birds and rodents and memorized their names. It’s much more difficult to be okay with keeping an animal locked away after you’ve learned to love them.

So, now, do I think it’s okay to use my selfish desire for entertainment as an excuse to keep beautiful creatures locked in cages? Not anymore, I don’t.