This might be one of the most vulnerable (and traumatic) things I could possibly share with the internet. It is continuously something I have to deal with and sometimes I fear I have not quite come to terms with it yet. No, this is not about losing my baby teeth as a child. So buckle down and be prepared for some dark shit.

It was the summer of 2018. At the time, I was very insecure in my open relationship with my ex-girlfriend. She was going out of town to party with her friends, so you can imagine how my mind was racing with thoughts. I am insecure as it is and putting myself in a relationship that I knew I wasn't comfortable with was one of the worst decisions I've ever made. Yet there I was.

I didn't want to think about things that were out of my control and decided to go out with my friends. I was thinking that I couldn't think about things if I was too drunk to care. Before we got to the bar I had already had a couple of drinks. Then I made the terrible decision of drinking Long Island Iced Teas when we got to the bar. After my first one, I was pretty belligerent and at that point, there was no going back. From what I remember and what I was told, a guy at the bar bought me another drink. Things got worse after that.

I wanted to go home but my friends wanted me to wait it out with them until they were ready. A "friend" I just met at the bar ordered me an Uber, hearing that I had expressed I was ready to go home. I stumbled my way out of the bar and into the dark SUV that claimed they were my Uber. That's when things got scary. I remember being yelled at by my driver and feeling scared. I called a friend so they could hear what was happening in hopes I would have a witness to whatever was going on. All I know is that I kept repeating for him to let me out of the car as he screamed at me.

Then, everything went black after the car door slammed and I found myself on the sidewalk with blood on my hands. My friend on the phone picked me up from the side of the road and took me to my dorm. I remember being in an ambulance after that and called another friend. Repeatedly on the phone I said, "Why would someone hurt me? Why would someone do this to me?" When I woke up, I was in a hospital room going in and out of body exams. I stuttered, asking the nurse for a mirror. Upon looking at myself, I welled up with tears. Two of my teeth were broken, my mouth was swollen and face bruised.

Everything was different after that. There was a pending investigation but nobody could find or knew who my driver was. After many visits to the dentist, I found out that my teeth were broken at the root and couldn't be saved. I had temporary caps for a while but eventually had to get them pulled and now I wear a partial. To this day, sometimes I look in the mirror at the gap where my two teeth used to be and I feel forever changed. I know that a lot of the changes were for the best, but I also know I will never have my two teeth back.

I also learned to not ever date someone that couldn't reciprocate your feelings because it can only end up breaking you... or your teeth. But really, I was so insecure in myself and my relationship that I ended up basically hurting myself and putting myself in a terrible situation. I suppose the whole point of this is to tell people to never settle and to take care of yourself. You have to do better for you, even if nobody can be better for you. Also, don't take Ubers alone, especially in a completely intoxicated state. Just be kind to yourself and others.