I remember being in high school and wanting so badly to have what all my friends around me had. All my girlfriends had serious relationships, Friday night dates, and never worried about who would take them to the prom. It seemed like I was the only one who had zero boys interested in me, and therefore zero success in the dating world. I wish I could go back in time and tell 16-year-old me a couple things.
First, I'd tell young me it's all going to be okay. In fact, if I could hang in there until college, things would turn around for me. It was literally as if a light switch had flipped. Suddenly, after all the years of wanting to just have even a date with a boy, boys were interested! I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. And if you are feeling like you haven't had much luck in the dating department, I can promise you that it will happen for you too.
Secondly, I wish I could tell myself to take a deep breath and realize that it was a blessing. I couldn't see it then, but I think it was for the best that I had to worry mostly about figuring out who I wanted to be and who my friends were back then. As an adult, I have dated, but I have experienced much heartbreak. In many ways, the heartbreak I have faced over the past 4 years- especially the most recent doozy- was much worse than feeling like I'd never go to homecoming with a boy. I wish I could see how not dating when I was younger would make me a much stronger adult.
And third, being single for much of my young adult life made me a better friend, family member, and of course, a better me. I learned a LOT. I was able to focus on me and that opened the door for me to explore a lot about myself!
I learned at a young age how to be single. And that is not an easy thing to learn. Being single means a lot of things. I am still currently getting over my ex, so right now being single means I am dealing with my sad days. It means I am listening to a LOT of Adele, and it means I am focusing on my physical, mental, and emotional health. Being single means I am enjoying spending time with my girls, and I am seeing what God is trying to teach me. Being single doesn't mean I'm miserable 24/7, and it certainly doesn't mean I am anxious to hop back into the game.
Being single simply means I am happy and content being me.
I always tell my friends after a breakup that I am "good at being single" and that I "wear single well." And I am proud of that. I am glad my past and even my present are allowing me to be OK without a significant other. I encourage you, especially if you are experiencing heartbreak, to figure out what being single looks like for you. Because once you recognize that and you become OK with being independent, you will not only be happy but that much more prepared if you ever face heartbreak again. And know that when you are single, it doesn't have to be because of a heartbreak. It can be because of a needed heartbreak. And that's OK.
In the words of Lady Antebullum,
"I'm sleeping like a queen in the California King I made, I think it's time to take a heart break."
Lady Antebellum – Heart Break
