How I Got Mozzarella Sticks Banned (Un)Officially | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

How I Got Mozzarella Sticks Banned (Un)Officially

I'm sorry to my school district for never being able to enjoy the fried, gorgeous cheese sticks ever again.

Madeline Rose Clark
May 23, 2016
Hamline University
688
How I Got Mozzarella Sticks Banned (Un)Officially
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In elementary school we had the best school lunches ever. Pancakes that came in plastic pouches, strawberry milk and mozzarella sticks...until I got one of those banned from our district. So right here and now is an apology to those who loved those mozzarella sticks more than life itself, you weren't alone in that love and I'm sorry we both lost the only thing we would ever love.

When I first discovered my love for mozzarella sticks I still had my tonsils and adenoids, which were enlarged and not helpful for eating string like foods. The cheese would get caught and I would choke but this didn't stop my burning love for them.The first three times it happened I would totally just puke it out but then I got good at figuring out how to pull the whole cheese string out of my mouth, fortunately.

Well by the time we had mozzarella sticks for school lunch the next school year, I am a pro at recovering from choking and as I sat down for the best lunch day ever, it happened. The cheese was caught. So here I am just pulling the cheese out of my mouth like a magician pulling a long ribbon out of his coat arm. I'm just saying "I got this I got this," and everyone around me is watching me pull the cheese out of my mouth and they are all yelling and that's how it happened... that's how we never had mozzarella sticks for lunch ever again.

I was fortunate enough to have both my tonsils and adenoids removed, meaning better ability to further enjoy my favorite food and you can bet your sweet ass that I enjoyed every non-choking minute of it. Though I never got the chance to redeem myself at school lunch, I hoped the people who I so desperately wanted to call me "cheese girl" behind my back (I sadly never gained a nickname from this ordeal) would congratulate me on not choking and we'd go on mozzarella stick dates.

The moral of this story is definitely if you love something so much that it causes a death hazard, don't avoid it, embrace it. Also, I truly am sorry we never got to enjoy those fried, gorgeous sticks of cheese ever again even though I may be the official or unofficial reason for them disappearing. I'm still sorry. Please forgive me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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