How Feminism Saved Me

Contrary to belief, feminism isn’t about women hating men. But it’s also too simple to say that feminism is about being equal, because what does equal even mean? Economically equal? Equal voting rights? That women will have the same rights as men in all aspects? That also implies that women aspire to be men, and do not want to acknowledge their differences to men. Feminism isn’t so easily defined.

I remember being a high school student and recoiling at the thought of feminism because I held an idea of what feminists were - lesbians that grew out their armpit hair and refused to wear bras. I didn’t understand the depth and history behind Feminism, nor did realize how liberating feminist theory could be. The first time I was introduced to feminism in academia was in a summer English class, when we spent the week reading Laura Mulvey’s “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema” and learned about the concept of the male gaze. Being exposed to a small hint of feminism helped me contextualize all the complexities and difficulties I felt growing up as a female. I faced many challenges that differ from what young boys deal with when paving through adolescence. I was consistently told to be more lady-like, which meant to be quiet, obeying and docile. I aspired for impossible ideals of beauty and was told many times that I could not achieve certain goals specifically because I was female. I did not view any of these things as problems because these were thought to be the norm by those around me. If I did in fact feel a bit uncomfortable, I was not able to voice my opinions because the adults knew better than I did.

After taking a single Women’s Studies class, I feel as though I can see for the very first time. Feminist theory helped build the skills to voice my feelings of discomfort when certain college boys measure each other’s status of power by how many girls he has had sex with. I am able to look at the media and see a society that hypersexualizes women and reinforces extreme ideals of femininity and masculinity through media. I see complexities in our society and in my everyday life and understand that there is still so much more to learn.

Feminism goes beyond what the average celebrity or t-shirt will tell you. It is not man-hating. It is also not equality. If someone were to ask me for the definition of feminism, I would either explain for 20 minutes plus or simply say that it is every person’s savior. Feminism allows the blind to see.