A lot of people talk about how some drastic event in their life has shaped who they are as a person. In my own life, I can confidently say that one thing in particular has defined me as the person I am today: family dinners. As a kid, I thought that every family was like my own. I assumed that normal events in my family were the same events that occurred in households across America. For that reason, I never thought that family dinners were anything special. As I got older, I realized that very few people actually sit down and eat together as a family everyday. The more I realized that family dinners were rare, the more I started thinking about how they must have affected me and shaped me into my present self. Here's a list of how Family Dinners have completely shaped my life for the better.
1. Punctuality
For my entire life, apart from my time living in a dorm at UConn, I have had dinner with my family at the dining table. No matter where I am, or what plans I have, I know that I have to be home for dinner on time. Unless I've explicitly obtained permission to eat out with a friend, family dinners are obligatory. I've learned to make sure I check the time when I go out to shop, study, or watch a movie to make sure I come home on-time for dinner with the family. It has taught me to stay committed to being present at a location every day, and I always look forward to it.
2. Respect
At the dinner table, we all sit down and wait to make sure that everyone has arrived. Regardless of how hungry I am, or my sisters are, we sit and wait patiently (or sometimes impatiently if we're starving) for everyone to be present at the table. Even when we've all sat down, we don't get food on a first-come-first-serve basis. We pass the dish to my Grandmother first, then my Dad, then my Mom, and then the three of us siblings will take our food. This isn't something we feel obligated to do, it's been something we've learned comes with respecting our elders. It's a simple gesture, and yet it teaches us to put others before ourselves, regardless of our own needs.
3. Etiquette
After coming to college, it has been clear to me that not everyone has learned proper dinner-eating-etiquette. Although this is in no way an obligation, I personally feel that abiding by the rules of proper etiquette can only help you come across better on a first impression. After all, there are reasons why these simple "rules" were created, so it can't hurt to follow them. It also just feels good to know that you're not making other people uncomfortable from the ravenous way in which you eat.
4. Listening Skills
At the Haroon household, family dinners are a time for valuable discussion. We usually start with our parents talking about the news, and I try to jump in and ask questions whenever I can to make sure I understand whatever is being discussed. Often times, however, it is a great time to learn how to listen to people. Each of us will talk about what we accomplished that day, what we're planning on doing, or just anything we found interesting or valuable to share. It's an awesome feeling to be surrounded by your family and listen to whatever they have to say, knowing that it's a safe space to say whatever you feel without being graded on it or judged for it. I personally believe my skills as a listener and a problem solver have come from listening to dilemmas at the dinner table and trying to come up with solutions.
5. Team Work
Family dinner isn't just about eating, its about everything before, after, and in between. We all work together to set the table, cook the food and then to wash the dishes and put them away. This is usually the aspect in which I am the most subpar, but hey, everyone has their flaws. I may not love washing the dishes or setting the table, but I've also learned that if I don't do it, the dishes won't magically clean themselves. Almost 100-percent of the time, my Mom will tell us to put away the dishes because otherwise they'll pile up and we'll still have to do them in the future. It's taught me that I can put off doing things that are unpleasant, but that doesn't change the reality that I will eventually have to face unpleasant tasks. It's better to get them out of the way early, rather than make the task momentous and even more unpleasant when pushed off into the future.
6. Current Events
My Dad has always encouraged us to be aware of what's going on in the world, and by encourage, I mean enforced. He doesn't actually force any of us to read the newspaper or watch the news, but often times he'll ask us questions like, "Who's the Chancellor of Germany", or "What's the capital of Norway?" just to keep us on our toes. Most of the time, my sisters will reply with a simple "I don't know" and call it a day. I've personally found that I hate to disappoint my Dad when I don't know things he expects us to know, especially because we are students blessed to have Undergraduate University educations. Because of this, I make sure I pick up the New York Times at school every day, read the headlines and find articles of interest to me so that I can call home to tell him what I found interesting. I also make sure that if my Dad asks a question that I don't know the answer to, I pay attention to the answer and make sure I remember it in case he ever asks again. I think it's imperative that fun facts and current events are encouraged to be learned outside of school, as something you're under no obligation to know, but something you should want to know. If we live our lives only learning what we "have" to know for our Major or Plan of Study, then we waste the opportunity to enrich ourselves in the cultures of other people, the history of the world, the triumphs of world leaders, and everything in between. Knowledge is power, and family dinners have encouraged me to know that learning something, about anything can never be a waste of time.
7. Public Speaking
This may not be an aspect of everyone's family dinners, but I can say with certainty that my ability to speak confidently in public is due to the encouragement of my family in the Dining Room. When we were younger, my dad used many tactics to get my siblings and I to love to read and learn, and have friendly competitions between ourselves for our own betterment. One such competition would be to practice reading aloud. My Dad would pick out a copy of Time Magazine, flip to an article and pass it around. First my older sister would read, then myself, and then my little sister. We would each take turns trying to read the passage aloud as clearly and confidently as possible, and when we didn't know how to pronounce a word, we would have to try and figure it out. This became a practice I was so fond of that I would frequently practice in my own room, grabbing a book from the shelf and trying to sound like the Journalists I watched on the News reporting live stories. Not only was I learning new words as I read along (my Dad has always encouraged us to look up words we're unfamiliar with immediately to add to our vocabulary), but I was becoming more confident as a person and public speaker. Additionally, my Dad would sometimes ask my sisters and I to explain a historic event, without using filler words such as "like", "umm", and "sort-of/kind of". It taught me to be concise and clear, and summarize the important aspects of an event. All of these skills have helped me immensely in life so far, and will continue to do so.
8. Close Family Ties
Apart from all of the aforementioned reasons for loving family dinners, being close with my family tops them all. I'm so thankful to come home to sit at the table surrounded by the faces of the people I love, who I know are just excited to do the same with me. I'm so blessed to be able to spend so much time with my family, and want to be in their company all the time. Family dinners aren't an obligation, they're an event I look forward to with the best people on the planet. People often tell me they eat in their rooms with the TV on, and rarely talk to their parents. I personally can't imagine my life without these family dinners, and being as close to my family as I am. I have learned so much from them and I cannot wait to continue to do so. Family dinners are so much more to me than a meal, they're a part of who I am.
To my family: if you're reading this, I can't wait to see you at the dinner table in a few short weeks!
