Before you start thinking about loving others, you have to learn to love yourself first. I personally found myself for a long time finding my happiness in others rather than within myself. I relied on others opinions of me to determine my self-worth and to boost my mood. But after a lot of self-reflection and soul searching I have realized that there is no one that is going to be there for me longer than myself; and to be able to stay happy despite an circumstances I needed to learn how to fall in love with myself before I try to fall for another person. So hopefully the tips below will help you fall in love with yourself once again, because you are your own first soulmate.
1. Take Some Quality Time For You
After being in a long relationship, I found that I hated to be alone, because I felt safer when I had someone else or a group of people with me. I would notice that just being alone, even while doing an activity, made me sad even though nothing was actually wrong. The first step to falling in love with yourself is learning to be alone and appreciating the fact that you don't need someone else to make you happy. Whether it is just going on a drive around town to listen to your favorite playlist or going to your local coffee shop to get a drink and clean out your email inbox, make sure you save time to enjoy being with yourself.
2. Acknowledge Your Accomplishments
A lot of the time, we get caught up in comparing ourselves to others, and we forget how much we have actually accomplished. Take time to think about all of the things you have done, how much you have grown as a person, all of the hurdles you have overcome and be proud of yourself. You are your own person and you are an individual who is unique and cannot be directly compared to anyone else. Don't let other people's accomplishments lessen the happiness and pride you receive from your own successes.
3. Stand Up For Yourself
You really are your own best friend. And I know we all love having that friend or significant other that will stand up for you no matter what, but you also need to be able to do the same for yourself. As many times as your friend can say to someone else that "you are so amazing," nothing compares to the confidence of someone who is confident and proud of who they are.
There is a difference between being confident and being cocky though! The difference is that confidence is shown when you can brush off the little things that you know aren't meaningful, cockiness is preaching your self-love obsessively to others.
4. Notice the Little Things
Notice those cute freckles that come out during the summer. Notice how beautiful your voice sounds when you are singing along to the car radio. Acknowledge that you had a great workout at the gym. Don't sell yourself short. We tend to notice the little things about others but completely ignore them when it comes to ourselves, but the little things are what make you, you! Learn to spot the little things about yourself, and you will soon learn that you are much more than who you thought you were before.
5. Spoil Yourself
Take yourself on dates! Have that ice cream when you've had a bad day, and own it! Make sure you give yourself enough time to breathe and relax. Don't over-schedule yourself into exhaustion. Learn to find time for you and treat yourself because you deserve it.
6. Accept Compliments
We all do it, sometimes to be polite and sometimes just because you don't agree, but stop refusing compliments! People compliment you because they have noticed something special about you and they want you to know it! Learn to internalize those compliments and accept them as truth, not just words. Yes, you are gorgeous. Yes, you are smart. Yes, you are an amazing athlete. Don't brush off those words of praise.
7. Find What Makes You Happy
Find what makes you smile, laugh and feel good on the inside. Stop relying on others to make you happy, and stop sacrificing your own happiness for the benefit of others so often. Take time to be with yourself and do what makes you happy. No matter what it is, how "weird" it may be to others, how hard it may seem or how sparingly you can do it. Make time to do what makes you happy. Learn to put your own happiness first, and you will realize that the happier you are, the happier people will be when you are around them. Find happiness inside of yourself, even if it takes days, weeks or months. Because you are worth it!
Don't leave yourself behind. You are deserving of so much love, happiness, and success! And it all starts with you. Put yourself ahead of others more often, and learn to love the person you were, the person you are and the person you someday will be.
