So, I have Alopecia Areata, a disease that makes your hair fall out for no known reason. When my hair (or eyelashes) start falling out, it is a big deal because I have no clue what is going to happen and there is nothing I can do about it.
A couple of nights ago, it’s around 11 p.m. and I’m getting ready for bed. I’m taking my makeup off and I notice a few eyelashes that have fallen out on the cotton ball with my makeup remover. Okay, I’m thinking, no big deal. I may have just rubbed my eyes too hard and a few fell out as a result.
The next night, also around 11 p.m., I’m doing the same thing. And I notice even more eyelashes on that dang cotton ball. Naturally, my mind goes starts worrying excessively. It’s like my brains little emergency state. It’s fine though -- I’m learning to manage. I’m thinking, “What if they all fall out? How many have I already lost? Can you tell? Why is this happening now? Is it my makeup remover? (Because I started a new brand.) God, I’m just starting my sophomore year of college…this isn’t exactly good timing for this to happen.”
After this, I found myself praying, “God, please, please, please don’t let my eyelashes fall out. Please.” And then thinking how my life is going to be miserable if I lose these tiny pieces of hair on my eyelids. I may have thrown myself a little pity-party and shed a few tears, but I came to the realization that whether or not I have eyelashes, does not dictate anything important in my life. It does not determine whether or not I go to heaven. It does not determine my worth as a person. It does not affect my brain function. It does not affect my physical ability. It does not affect who my family and friends are. It does not affect my life unless I let it.
There is a disguise all over this situation, that is that I have no control over it. That’s not true. I have complete control over it. I choose how I react to this situation, and therefore how it effects my feelings. This is one of the devil’s plays, making us think that we can’t do anything about our situation, when we actually control what comes out of it. We just have to choose to go the right way.
If I chose to let this situation bother me and worry about it, I would never stop thinking about how I’m not pretty because I don’t have eyelashes, or how my life completely sucks because I don’t have eyelashes. It would constantly be on my mind and would haunt me in my weakest state. I would be miserable.
If I chose to give God this situation, He will give me the peace and strength I need to not go crazy. I will feel a weight lifted off my shoulders, and I may even learn some things and grow in my relationship with God.
I think that a lot of girls, and guys as well, go through similar things. Something goes wrong, they freak out, choose to 1) go with the world, or 2) trust the Lord with it. Trusting the Lord with it is a much better option. It's just that getting to that decision for whatever reason is sometimes tough.
During spring break of my freshman year of college, I was in Tampa, Fla., and I remember looking at the bay thinking, “Wow, this is so beautiful.” I then heard a still, small voice that was undoubtedly our Heavenly Father, whisper, “You are far more beautiful to me than this.” And the best thing about it is that I knew He means it, and that He is good and worthy of our trust; no matter what happens.
Ladies, and guys, please remember that you are beautiful and so so loved by our Father. I don't think God wants us to fret over a few lost eyelashes when there are far more important things going on in the world. Luke 12:7 says "Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows." (ESV)
So, Father, please be my strength, and help me to remember that eyelashes aren’t worth fretting over. Help me to remember what’s really important, and to always choose You over the world.
