How do you know he's the right one? Whenever I see a couple that has been together more than 10 years, I always ask, how did you know do you know he's the right one? Whenever I see a couple that has been together more than 10 years, I always ask, how did you know(s) he was it? The answers always vary. They change depending on the generation in which you're speaking to.
I have dated and broken up with or been broken up with and I can't help but think I was so blind. Obvious "red flag"' I overlooked. You know the mama's boy who are still attached at the nipple, the ones with no ambition, socially awkward, or the worst, one that has a little bit of all three. In hindsight, I think it was pretty obvious how they WEREN'T the right one, but in the moment they all had their pros. I feel like more commonly than not, marriage and having a significant other is pushed upon me. See at my age, 23, between my sisters and I they've both been married.
Yet for one reason or another, here I am the single mother from Jersey.
But is my destiny to be married? Or to be alone? How will I know if he is the one that I'll see at the end of the alter? That's where my mind goes blank. I always think to myself, maybe it's not in the cards for me, maybe I should change myself or lower my expectations. But is it fair to give up on my dreams just to have a significant other? Should I be unhappy to have someone who can very well be temporary? Recently, I have entered the 2016 dating world, a world in which I am the black sheep. I say this because I'd like to think of myself as too old for my generation. Too old to be with the boys who use women as an object, children as a nuisance, marriage as a joke.
It's always so shocking to me when I meet someone and they're genuine, loving, caring, honest, loyal and have some ambition. Up until recently, I didn't know men like this still existed. I met someone recently, and all these labels that I'm looking for I think I've found in him.
As a single mother, my main priority is always my child and his well-being. How can I meet someone who can understand that they're always going to be number two in my heart and in my head? Can anyone grasp that concept? Join me on my journey as I tell you about this very different kind of man that I am "talking to".
We met by fate, he was in the same place at the same time I was. At first, we began talking about our MATCHING tattoos. Who would've known that a symbol that is not well known would be tattooed on someone else's body on the same side as mine. We had a brief conversation but I was drawn to his powdery blue eyes. I was intrigued by the way he helped his best friend.
After meeting him we didn't exchange phone numbers or social media accounts, I figured if it was "meant to be" we'd meet again and I would be put into his path. Sure enough the next day at the same location he was there, with those baby blue eyes and light skin, this time, I was more withdrawn, I couldn't tell what his story was. Usually, guys push themselves on females, but he didn't. He is a singer and so I tried to get him to come to a bar I frequent to talk to the owner and see if he could sing there. In my head, he would say "I'd love to join you," I'd reply with "I'm going tonight." Instead, he declined.
As a typical girl, I was texting one of my friends and telling her the scoop on this guy who I didn't know his name. She kept encouraging me to go talk to him more, but the shy girl in me couldn't bring myself to do that. Later that night, after he left, I was laying in bed when I received an Instagram request. I couldn't believe it but there he was. This was my chance. I messaged him and we began talking. Getting to know each other, so far he's the picture perfect mold of what I've been looking for.
I've been single for half a year now, and maybe, just maybe, he's making me reconsider how I look at dating. I usually ask for the bare minimum in the relationship world -- usually, I am asking for the simple things, like a good morning text or a phone call after work. Something simple so I know I'm not completely alone in this relationship. Already he has exceeded my expectations and done so much more than the bare minimum.
I tend to dream big, think of the next level before I'm on it. He jumps on the bandwagon with me. It's refreshing to talk to someone of this caliber but is he out of my league? He has planned our first date, which is refreshing from the back and forth banter of "Where do you want to go" "UH, IDK." I cannot express how happy I am to have met him. Thus far, no red flags. I don't know what it takes to keep a relationship going for the long-term but maybe this will stick. But if not, that's okay too. I'm just living in the moment and hoping for the best,
