How Dierks Bentley Is Taking A Stand For Girls Everywhere

How Dierks Bentley Is Taking A Stand For Girls Everywhere

And it's not just because he took our side in the breakup.
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Whether you are a country fan or rap junkie there is no arguing that top hits are top hits. With big singles like “Come a Little Closer” and the newly adored “Somewhere on a Beach,” the name Dierks Bentley is one that has been tossed around top charts for years and likely one to have been spoken among most families in the country due to his knack for making good music. This past May, the country singer dropped a new album titled Black that is on the right track for following the successful footsteps of the artist’s other records. Critics are calling this album the best look at the emotions that make up Bentley and the way he connects to his songs.

The second track on the album is one that I specifically expect to be at the top of the leaderboards very soon. The melody titled “Different for Girls” featuring the amazing voice of alternative artist Elle King tenderly describes the ways that girls can’t handle a breakup like their boy counterparts. With lyrics that will no doubt have girls around the nation using the hashtags “preach” and “truth” and “I can’t even” it is sure to be one of the best breakup ballads of all time. I’ll go as far to say that it might even surpass some of T. Swift’s work in terms of the accuracy to which it relates to a girl’s feelings. To give you a taste of what I’m talking about, and some inspiration to give the song a listen, here are a few of the stunning lyrics:

“It's different for girls when their hearts get broke. They can't tape it back together with a whiskey and coke. They don't take someone home and act like it's nothing. They can't just switch it off every time they feel something.”

“She don't say, It's OK, I never loved him anyway. She don't scroll through her phone just looking for a Band-Aid”

“It's different for girls. Nobody said it was fair. When love disappears, they can't pretend it was never there”

“A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up. Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come up, but it's different for girls”

While Dierks has not only almost perfectly pegged the college hookup culture that girls often find themselves victims of, he, in my opinion, has pointed out a far more relevant issue.

It’s different for girls.

Life is different for girls. Relationships are different for girls. Love is different for girls. Girls are different, and it is OK. In no way does Bentley mock the fragility of women. He doesn't sarcastically pity them or blame them for their tenderness. He admits with the most earnest, and honest tone there is that it’s different for girls. I think today more than ever there is such a push for girls to stop acting like girls. We often find ourselves unintentionally, and sometimes purposely, shamed for our desire to be womanly; and yes, I am somewhat looking at you feminism. It is almost a sin in this culture to be a girl and not be a feminist, but I have got to say it. The truth is, as much as we rally and campaign and advocate to be equal to men, we never will be because we aren’t. Does that mean we are beneath them? No. Does that mean we deserve less hourly pay? No. It means that we aren’t men, and that it’s OK because we are so much more than that.

We are women and I think sometimes we discriminate ourselves more so than a man ever could. I think sometimes we’re the only ones focusing on the differences between us because we’re the only ones that haven’t been able to see them as empowering. I think sometimes we forget that we weren’t made to do everything a man can, but instead to do everything he couldn't. I think we forget that men ignore and oppress us because they know all too well our power; and instead of taking hold of our abilities we sit and waste our energy arguing with them about our rights and proving that we are just as easy to distract as they envisioned. I think in pointing out all these problems we’ve admitted that we might just be a small fraction of it ourselves. I think we should embrace our differences and own them. I think we should stop trying to beat “the man” and be “the woman.”

So thank you Dierks Bentley, for reminding me that I am different and for instilling in me a new sense of pride for that difference and all of those “I thinks” from above, because I am thankful to be a girl. I’m thankful I can’t separate my emotions from my political views because it means I am empathetic. I’m thankful that sometimes I cry at the thought of war and death, even if it’s for the protection of a nation, because it means that I am compassionate. I’m thankful that I may be indecisive because it means I am considerate. I’m thankful for all of the fundamentally different characteristics that make my personality different from that of a man because I am a woman; and I am sick of gender roles and stereotypes making that a bad thing.

I am proud to be a girl, and even at my weakest I am no weaker than anyone else on this planet. We are different because we are unique. We are different because we were made for different tasks. We are different because we were designed to be the most beautiful divergence known to man. It is different for girls, because it should be and I am so glad that someone else understands.

Cover Image Credit: https://cbsradionews.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/dierks-bentley-courtesy-umg-nashville.jpg?w=640&h=360&crop=1

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Saying You "Don't Take Political Stances" IS A Political Stance

All you're doing by saying this is revealing your privilege to not care politically, and here's why that's a problem.

bethkrat
bethkrat
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I'm sure all of us know at least one person who refuses to engage in political discussions - sure, you can make the argument that there is a time and a place to bring up the political happenings of our world today, but you can't possibly ignore it all the time. You bring up the last ridiculous tweet our president sent or you try to discuss your feelings on the new reproductive regulation bills that are rising throughout the states, and they find any excuse to dip out as quickly as possible. They say I don't talk about politics, or I'm apolitical. Well everyone, I'm here to tell you why that's complete bullsh*t.

Many people don't have the luxury and privilege of ignoring the political climate and sitting complacent while terrible things happen in our country. So many issues remain a constant battle for so many, be it the systematic racism that persists in nearly every aspect of our society, the fact that Flint still doesn't have clean water, the thousands of children that have been killed due to gun violence, those drowning in debt from unreasonable medical bills, kids fighting for their rights as citizens while their families are deported and separated from them... you get the point. So many people have to fight every single day because they don't have any other choice. If you have the ability to say that you just don't want to have anything to do with politics, it's because you aren't affected by any failing systems. You have a privilege and it is important to recognize it.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "history will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people."

We recognize that bad people exist in this world, and we recognize that they bring forth the systems that fail so many people every single day, but what is even more important to recognize are the silent majority - the people who, by engaging in neutrality, enable and purvey the side of the oppressors by doing nothing for their brothers and sisters on the front lines.

Maybe we think being neutral and not causing conflict is supposed to be about peacekeeping and in some way benefits the political discussion if we don't try to argue. But if we don't call out those who purvey failing systems, even if it's our best friend who says something homophobic, even if it's our representatives who support bills like the abortion ban in Alabama, even if it's our president who denies the fact that climate change is killing our planet faster than we can hope to reverse it, do we not, in essence, by all accounts of technicality side with those pushing the issues forward? If we let our best friend get away with saying something homophobic, will he ever start to change his ways, or will he ever be forced to realize that what he's said isn't something that we can just brush aside? If we let our representatives get away with ratifying abortion bans, how far will the laws go until women have no safe and reasonable control over their own bodily decisions? If we let our president continue to deny climate change, will we not lose our ability to live on this planet by choosing to do nothing?

We cannot pander to people who think that being neutral in times of injustice is a reasonable stance to take. We cannot have sympathy for people who decide they don't want to care about the political climate we're in today. Your attempts at avoiding conflict only make the conflict worse - your silence in this aspect is deafening. You've given ammunition for the oppressors who take your silence and apathy and continue to carry forth their oppression. If you want to be a good person, you need to suck it up and take a stand, or else nothing is going to change. We need to raise the voices of those who struggle to be heard by giving them the support they need to succeed against the opposition.

With all this in mind, just remember for the next time someone tells you that they're apolitical: you know exactly which side they're on.

bethkrat
bethkrat

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