May is officially Mental Health Awareness Month. But honestly, mental health awareness should be every day. Approximately 14.8 million adults and 2.8 million adolescents are affected by mental illness. It’s crazy how people are so shocked when they find out someone they know is affected by depression. We often hear, “you shouldn’t be sad, people have it worse than you.” That’s like saying that you can’t be happy because someone else has it better in the world. It seems ironic to have the words “depression” and “Christian” in the same sentence. It is not a sin to be depressed, but often those affected by the disease feel as though they are doing something wrong. Depression should not be something that families hide in order to uphold an image of perfection.
"Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant or insecure, remember to whom you belong" -Ephesians 2:19-22
Extreme anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and lack of emotion are a few signs of depression. There are a lot of things people yearn for in the world: perfection, happiness, peace, father-daughter/mother-son relationship, closure, etc. During my period of darkness, I knew I was yearning for something from the world. I’ve always done my best thinking in prayer. So I went on a lot of retreats or sat in the chapel in order to get some answers. The only thing that literally kept me alive was my faith in Christ. Attending so many retreats have allowed me to strengthen my relationship with God.
"He rescued me because he delighted in me" -Psalm 18:19
My peer ministry class and youth group in high school had a big impact in my life. The peer ministry team were 12 student leaders that had a passion for leading others to Christ. One of our roles was to lead class retreats in which peer ministers would give a witness talk. And one thing most of us had in common was that we found Christ through depression. It’s strange to think that the most religious people I knew went through different yet similar situations. My youth group met biweekly. It was a chance for our friends (from different schools) to hang out together. It was at my youth group retreat that I first publicly gave my witness talk. It caught my friends and adult leaders by surprise because I always seemed so happy. I realized that my story is a part of who I am. I realized that God uses my story to lead others in similar situations to Christ. He chose me to be a servant leader and I’m grateful for the opportunity.
"God is within her, she will not fall" -Psalm 46:5
Because of all that I’ve gone through, it made me who I am today. I developed a strong relationship with God, the Father. I know how to love because I know I am loved. I get all my happiness from Christ’s love. But it’s impossible to always have a smile on my face. And on those bad days, I know it will get better. I am no longer a hostage of this illness because of Christ’s love for me. Mother Teresa of Calcutta was in a state of intense spiritual dryness for most of her life. If someone as holy as she was suffered through that, I know that it was for a reason. I firmly believe that if I didn’t go through everything I did, my faith life wouldn’t be as strong as it is now. I can now guide my nieces as they go through high school, empathize with classmates that have gone through similar situations and be an activist for mental health discussion.
The testimony to my faith is a roller coaster, but there are more ups than downs, which I’m grateful for. I have a big family, lots of friends, I'm an honor student and I have a big future ahead of me, but none of it would matter if it weren’t for God, and I still believe that till this day. Depression should not be a taboo subject, especially in the Church. There should be discussions about the illness that affects many congregation members.
"For I know the plans I have for you says the lord, plans to prosper not harm you, to give you hope and a future" -Jeremiah 29:11
What doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.
