We’ve all gotten to that point in a relationship where you ask yourself – where is this going? What is my future going to look like? Is this person still going to be in it? You start to analyze every aspect of your relationship with this person, and you start wondering if your dreams and aspirations align with theirs. And, sometimes you learn – they don’t.

You are put in the toughest of positions; you can either plan a future with this person, or you can take a leap of faith and choose to leave. Choosing to leave is without a doubt the hardest thing you will have to do – saying goodbye to someone you still love for reasons they probably won’t understand. It will be a lot more painful for you than them. It will leave you numb; you will feel so guilty for hurting that person. You will have an overwhelming desire to fix what you’ve broken. To apologize for breaking their heart, for walking away when they needed you most. Remind yourself of the reasons why you did it. Hope that one day they can understand and come to terms with it. Not all relationships have to end terribly. Be a good person, do things you are proud of, motivate yourself to take initiative to reach your goals, and focus on being a person who – ultimately – they would be proud of.

It will be very hard for several months to feel even somewhat okay about the situation. No amount of love, support, or attention will be able to fill the void that was that person. Try to stay positive; they made you who you are right now – you’re proud of that person. If they shaped you into who you are today, they must’ve been fairly special. Think good thoughts about them; hope they are doing well. You loved them for a reason. If it was a long relationship, reflect on how it turned out. On the good moments and the bad. Realize what worked in the relationship in the circumstances they were in, and wonder if things turned out differently – could it work under different circumstances? There will be times where you want to give up on your journey of self-discovery. You will want to run back into their arms; stay strong. If you are meant to be with this person, you will be. Feel everything. Reflect on everything. Allow yourself as much time needed to heal. However, it’s not going to be easy. In fact, it will only get harder with time. You'll start to realize you've gone months without talking, and that you can't remember the sound of their voice. Little details will begin to escape you, and that's when the pain will hit you the hardest.

All this will leave you very guarded. You will want nothing to do with love, relationships, flings, etc. You will not want to get close to anyone. There’s that “numb” part again. It’s going to be okay. Time heals everything, and this will pass eventually. Try not to think cynically about love. Love is a beautiful thing that you had the pleasure of experiencing; it only hurts so much because it meant so much to you; they meant so much to you. Now, you have the experience of learning to love yourself.

This is the time to explore life. Explore the things you’ve always wanted to do. Step out of your comfort zone. Focus on your dreams and goals for the future and throw yourself in them. You will find your happiness again, you will find yourself again.

As lasting advice, actively try to stay positive; think positive thoughts about how all of this will turn out. Don’t play into the breakup game – do what you need to do to feel okay about this and don’t allow social stigmas to control your actions. You will have moments of weakness; you will survive.

“It’s a mark of maturity when someone hurts you, and you try to understand them.”