Often times in relationships and friendships there's the clingy ones, the ones who need A LOT of space and the in betweeners. Those who are in between are sometimes the hardest to read and understand. Let me attempt to clarify for you just what those in betweeners need and how they sometimes act. We get it we are confusing, shoot we even confuse ourselves as to what we want.
First let me allow urban dictionary to describe clingy: "A boyfriend/girlfriend or possibly someone who likes you who becomes let's say, obsessed. Signs that your boyfriend/girlfriend is clingy: doesn't stop calling, constantly tells you how much they love/like you, writes you songs, buys you flowers/chocolate so much it gets annoying, and wants to spend time..all the"
Now don't get us wrong WE DO WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU. But we also want time with our family, other friends and ourselves. We don't feel the need to spend every spare chance we get with you but there will be days where we do want to see you even if it's for an hour between class and practice or in between meals.
The common misconception with this is that people such as the in betweeners come off as not wanting to spend any quality time with their friend/significant other. This is not the case, it's that most often we need time to ourself. But spending quality time with you means 100 times more to us than you'll ever know. We love the 30 minutes of time that's filled with conversation or cuddles rather than hours every day that seem to just drag on. It adds a special meaning to every minute you spend together and you appreciate the time more.
The biggest issue that comes with being an in betweener as a friend or in a relationship with them is communication. How much texting/calling is too much? This one is purely personal preference. However, I do have some suggestions.
They will appreciate and want to at least communicate once a day. Just a text saying have a great day or asking how their day is/was is exactly what they need. We don't mind texting through out the day at all. As long as the opposing texter understands there won't be a response every second. The biggest no no is multiple texting. Three to four texts in a row with real content and purpose is 100 percent fine but if you're blowing up the phone with hello..., are you there..., answer me... texts in a matter of seconds is not okay. Period. End. Of. Story. That's clingy and we will run... fast.
Being with an in betweener, as I have now deemed them, can be difficult but being one is confusing as well. We aren't sure what we want... ever. So hang in there and it'll all be okay. Just keep both sides of communication completely open, talk it out, trust each other and there will be no worries! After all although in betweeners are confusing, we are extremely low maintence.
