Most college relationships that come to an end go through what I like to call the “boomerang" phase. You have decided to throw your relationship far away, but after a few days, maybe a month, maybe a year, the talking and flirting begin again and all of a sudden the confusion is tremendous. Should you get back together with this person? Has he/she really changed this time? Did I make a mistake by texting him/her at three in the morning? Probably, but that's okay because, most likely, everyone who has gone through a breakup has been in your shoes and understands how difficult it can be to stay away from your ex, especially when your ex is what is familiar, comfortable and easy.

Let me make myself clear: the boomerang phase happens when at least a few days have passed in between the breakup and the rekindling of the relationship. This excludes big fights that happen that result in you getting back together the next day, or even two days later. For the boomerang phase, you have already endured the tearful nights full of blasting depressing music and have begun to move onto the Miranda Lambert-filled vengeful stage. You are still allowed to be upset, but you have taken the first steps towards moving on. Now is when the ex enters stage left and turns your life upside-down because, just as you were ready to try to forget this crummy relationship, it is back in your face.

I always say that this stage is the time to do some serious soul-searching and reflecting. Think about it carefully: you have already gone through the toughest part (or, at least, the most emotional part) of a breakup. The last thing that you want to do is go through that stage again. Before deciding that your ex has changed and you are ready to try again, make sure that the two of you understand that the relationship should be lasting for a while. Don't get back into it and pick up exactly where you left off, or nothing will change. You and your ex need to make sure that you have really talked through the problems that you were having and are both committed to trying your best to change what went wrong. If you are not equally dedicated to truly gaining a better, healthier relationship, then what's the point of going back to it? Like I said, you've already cried.

I've also witnessed people who believe that they are not worthy of unconditional love and that their ex is the closest thing that they will get, so why not just go back? Now I know that going back to your ex is easy, but it is also extremely important to remember that your significant other should be complementing you as a person, not completing you. They should bring out the best in you and reaffirm how important you are as an individual, not as their significant other. Believing that you are loved only when you are in a relationship is a problem; you should be your own biggest fan. If you find that you do not love yourself, maybe you should think twice about getting back into that boomerang relationship. Your friends love you, but it is just as exhausting for them as it is for you to watch you live your life while constantly upset because of your relationship. Good friends will remind you that you, yourself, are enough, and you don't need no man (or woman) to complete you!