Today, I am an out and proud lesbian. But it wasn’t always this way. I came out for the first time during the second week of classes my freshman year of college. I will never forget sitting in a booth in Wilson café and telling my first close friend in college that I liked girls. Now, I’ll let you in on a secret- societally, we always refer to coming out as this one big event but really it is a thousand coming outs, a continual process with every new acquaintance and social setting. And coming out can manifest in a million ways- a casual mention of an ex-girlfriend, holding hands with your significant other in public or telling the guy trying to dance with you at a party that you’re not interested in men. My lifelong process of coming out began that day in Wilson café, and has continued ever since. My time at Middlebury has helped me embrace my queerness in ways I never would have thought possible two years ago, thanks to a safe, accepting and supportive queer community.

Now, let’s jump back to high school. I spent four years confused and closeted, unsure of my identity and lacking a community in which to explore it. I didn’t know a single student in my class who was out of the closet, and my school didn’t have a Gay Straight Alliance or anything of the like. I questioned my identity and told myself that my attraction and crushes on girls simply meant that I really wanted to be friends with them. I tried to push myself into the societal straight default, and struggled with my heart’s desire to pull me away from it.

Everything changed when I got to Middlebury.

During the first week of classes, I met a group of friends in my dorm who loudly and proudly expressed their queerness. Being around them started a spark of hope within me that I would finally be able to present my identity to the world and truly be myself. They brought me to my first Queers and Allies meeting that week, and I discovered a vibrant queer community on campus. At first, I outwardly presented myself as an ally, but I quickly realized that this was a safe, accepting, enthusiastic community where I could be open about my identity. I started accepting myself and let myself step out of the box of default straightness. I came out for the first time the following week and I have never looked back.

The queer community at Middlebury changed my life. It helped me make peace with who I am and outwardly become the person I’ve always been on the inside. With the support of my friends, I came out to my family and participated in a photography project where I loudly proclaimed my queerness in public.

I want to speak out on the importance of safe, accepting spaces that provide the community and support for people like me to truly be themselves. Without the support of the queer community at Middlebury, I could not be where I am today. I am comfortable with my identity, proud and committed to helping create the space and community for people like me to find the acceptance and support they need. Thank you to the Middlebury queer community that has meant so much to me, and I will do everything in my power to continue to support our safe space.

Note: I use the term queer as it has been repurposed by the queer community. I believe it to be a more inclusive term than LGBTQ which is why I use it here.