I am non-Catholic. This statement may not mean much to many people, but this is the first time in quite a while that I stated those words with no doubts, no qualifying statements, no ifs, ands or buts. Once upon a time, those words were a bold-faced lie, even if I may have said it at the time. And the reason that I state this, is because somewhere inside of me needed for me to say this. I've been on both sides of the fence regarding my faith, and the reason I can now say I am non-Catholic, what pushed me firmly to that side, is ironically because of my Jesuit high school education.

When I entered high school, I was of the Catholic faith. I was this, because I went to a Catholic grade school, and I might not have completely understood what religion was. In fact, my family was not incredibly religious, in that we didn’t go to church every Sunday, and I wasn’t baptized until about the 2nd grade, doing so because that was when every student in my grade level was going through exercises for Penance and Eucharist (two Catholic activities to those who are not familiar with the religion). So when I entered an all-boys, Catholic high school, my faith was not challenged by many, and in fact encouraged through classes and school-wide activities, such as group Mass and Penance. Catholicism was the norm, so much so that those who were non-religious were very quiet about what they believed, at least during freshman and sophomore year. Any non-religious sentiment spoken out loud was shut down by the Theology teachers, if such a rare statement were to surface. And of course I believe a lot of this was justified to an extent. When you apply for a Jesuit school, you should expect nothing less, and the Theology teachers were some of the nicest, funniest teachers I have ever studied under.

However, as the years went on, as I learned more of what religion was, what Catholicism believed, and what I personally thought was right, my beliefs began to waver. I internally began to question facets and views of the religion, including topics such as same-sex marriage and contraception. Some people who were close to me started to become non-religious and atheist, which indirectly forced me to question whether these beliefs were the correct one. I very rarely went to Mass on my own volition, and I questioned some texts in the Bible. But the biggest factor in why I started to become non-religious, were those who were religious around me.

Now, this is not to say that I hated every religious person around me. Most of my main circle of friends in religious, and one is even on a path to becoming a priest. But at some point, I began to really see the beliefs that many of those around me held, and what I saw didn't exactly jive with me. And many of these beliefs have more to do with the fact that most of my grade level was Republican, while I was Democrat. But when these people began to speak about topics such as same-sex marriage, I sensed some borderline bigotry from the words that were used. Perhaps the biggest example of this was either the 2014 NFL Draft on Twitter, when many of my classmates sent some tweets regarding Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend that I found in poor taste, or similar tweets from them regarding Caitlyn Jenner. The tweets felt wrong to me, as they did to a lot of people, but what I had to swallow was the fact that what they said fell more in line with the Catholic faith than what I thought. During these times, I felt like I needed to get away from Catholic teaching, and find a non-religious school.

Even before a year in Wooster, I found myself apart from the Catholic Church in too many ways to really call myself Catholic in any way. While I like Pope Francis more than any Pope in history, I still don't find myself in any way really missing the Church. A year without Catholic teaching did me a lot of good in the long run, as I'm able to see the world from different points of view more easily. I am a non-Catholic, and holy hell, it feels great to finally say it.