When you hear the word cancer, you'd like to think it's about the horoscope word, not the disease and when it's about the disease, your world tumbles down.
It was 3:00 p.m. on a Thursday when I was informed by my mother that my grandmother had cancer and hadn't told me until everything was fine.
The emotion was overbearing, tears running down my face all the way to the floor, I wanted to scream, cry, run away. I hadn't felt an emotion like this, ever.
I tried to control myself and eventually did, but it took me about an hour. I skipped my last class that day, my mother told me everything was going to be fine and I had to swallow my tears.
Classes hadn't finished, there was still a month and a half left to finish the semester, so I had to control myself and not overreact. T
Once I finished classes, all I could think of was to see her, not to see my mother, my father, or other people, but to only see her.
My grandmother has been instrumental in my life: being the one who I could lean onto, showing me how to live life and how to be myself, giving me advice that I need.
She's the one who I love the most, the most important woman in my life and she'll always be the most valuable one in my life.
When I got back home, I needed at least a day to rest, to prepare myself mentally. My mother had told me we were going to see her the next day.
I was normal. I hadn't thought about anything on our way to see her and my aunt. But once we arrived, it hit me. This was real, this was my reality.
Seeing her, at first glance, we immediately hugged each other. Never had we hugged so strong before, both crying as we held each other so dearly.
I remembered I had to be strong, strong for her, but I'm only human and this was my reaction. Sobbing, we both talked about how we missed each other, how I was full of happiness to finally see her. Her face was glowing, at that moment I saw hope.
Before having a family member with cancer, I was oblivious of what it was to experience such emotions. Emotions that can't be fully described.
It's a blessing and a curse, seeing life from a different perspective. Cancer might have ruined my feelings, but it didn't ruin my love and it never will.
From this experience, in a short amount of time, I've seen a different side of my grandmother. One who's struggling and vulnerable, but aware of it. Learning that life works in mysterious ways and that living should never be taken for granted.
Learning that her love for her family is immense and that sometimes we take it for granted. Life is short and it should be lived. It may sound simple to hear, but who really "lives" their life anymore?
Now I know that cancer might be the enemy, but there will always be a battle, and this one will be treated like any other one. This one won't be taken easily. She's here to show that she's ready and isn't going to give up.
Cancer not only effected her, it effected me.
