It was an afternoon like any other, spent on the couch reading articles and scrolling through social media sites. Upon scrolling, I noticed a friend of mine had shared an article on the associations accompanying the expression "basic white girl." I scoffed, as I normally do when silly phrases like that appear. This time, though, I took the time to consider its meaning, to ponder the term and my possible relation to it. Am I a basic white girl? I've got the whole Caucasian female thing going on. But basic? How is the term actually defined in this particular context?

I journeyed over to Dictionary.com. "Basic" has many definitions, from one pertaining to chemistry to another that comes from "metallurgy," which, it turns out, is a word. The sixth definition gave me the explanation of the slang term, which reads as follows:

(especially of a female) characterized by predictable or unoriginal style, interests, or behavior: those basic girls who follow trends.

Predictable? Unoriginal? I was aghast. Certainly, that couldn't be me! Are we not all naturally unique, one-of-a-kind individuals? Were my preschool teachers lying when they taught the class that everyone is special? I reread the example sentence, which was not an actual sentence: those basic girls who follow trends. Hmmmmmm. I do follow some trends, I suppose... But doesn't everyone?

I continued to drift through the Internet, desperately seeking answers. Some time later, I happened across a BuzzFeed quiz: "How Much Of A Basic White Girl Are You Actually?"

Yes. The truth I've been searching for. There were 70 statements that I had to determine whether or not applied to me. Whatever confidence I had in being a non-basic white girl came to a sharp decline as I scanned the sentences.

Northfaces are basic? Well, I only have one, so that's not-

Uggs? Okay, but who didn't go out and buy Uggs back in middle s-

Leggings? ...Would you believe me if I said it was a five-for-one sale..?

Taking pictures with your friends before going out? B-b-but how else will we preserve the moments?

Pumpkin spice? What, was its creation a trick on society? Are we not supposed to find that flavor delicious?

Have enough fuzzy socks to last a lifetime? HOLD ON, I LITERALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS ONLY MY THING.

Support Taylor Swift? She's pretty much ruling the world, isn't any action against her some sort of a mutiny?

OH okay, here's a list of shows and I'm not addicted to any--just kidding, I adore "One Tree Hill." But how could anyone resist small-town drama and Chad Michael Murray's abs?

Certainly, not a basic white girl.

Suddenly, I felt itchy. Feverish. I felt the basic-ness pumping through my bloodstream, pouring out my ears. I was predictable, a follower of trends, a bore. To make matters worse, I found myself reading a Jezebel article entitled "Overanalyzing 'Basic' Is The Most Basic Move Of All." Suddenly, my condition drastically worsened. What was I thinking?! I had been too caught up in my over-analyzing to open a newspaper and realize over-analyzing is a nationwide trend. EVERYONE is doing it. It's only a matter of time before it becomes entirely uncool.

A line from the article reads, "this hysteria over 'basic' is really just a bunch of privileged white girls caring too much about what other people think." Quite hysterically, I read that line over and over, until it was permanently locked in my brain, until I cared so much that it was impossible for me to care anymore if I tried.

To this day, I can't even.

The Internet had confirmed it. Now, I walk streets as an infectious bug to society, a machine spewing acronyms where they don't belong LOLOLOLOL. I am a dull creature, just another tired zombie taking selfies among an army of walking iPhones. Forget about being perceived by my ambitions, my dreams, my individual quirks (which I used to think I had; how naive I once was!) I am defined by my Starbucks order. Nothing more.

I urge all white females readers to give in and embrace this stereotype; be the joke that our nation wants you to be. To question societal culture here means to go against what others define you as. And we can't have people standing up for themselves, can we?