Throughout my life I was always the "single friend." I am 20-years-old and have had three relationships, my last being at the beginning of my senior year of high school. I am currently on a three-year single spell, and honestly? I love it.
In high school, I always thought that being in a relationship was what was considered "normal." I felt ugly, unwanted, different; basically anything that a girl can think that's negative of herself all because I was single the majority of my life. Not to mention all my friends went through boys like crazy, which did not help my self-esteem.
When I was in relationships, they were not real. I am the kind of girl that gives my whole heart to someone. Usually when/if I do, it's usually not fully reciprocated. This may sound pathetic or like I am complaining, but I am not. Now that I am older, I realize that being single all of my life was a blessing and not a curse because it made me into the strong woman that I am. It also taught me not settle for anything less than a true love.
Watching my friends go through all these relationships, I would see what they would put up with and think, "Is that what being in a relationship is like?"
The fighting, the changing who you are, the sacrificing for your partner, the tears—is this what I had to look forward to? Absolutely not. Being on the sidelines of these relationships and seeing this happen taught me the values and characteristics of relationships that I would look for in a partner when the time came. I do not think that relationships involve drastic changes in who you are or how you live your life: it is all about compromise. A majority of the relationships that I have witnessed have not been 50/50 in that aspect. Now that I am in college, I know what I want and I will not settle for anything less than that because I now know that I am worth it and it is what I deserve.
These years are the years that you will never get back. I made a promise to myself to use these four years of college to focus on myself, and to stop being the pitiful young girl I left behind at graduation. I promised myself that I would study my booty off to make something of myself in the future, and that I would take advantage of the whole weekend and the lifelong memories they can bring me. I promised myself that when I am 70-years-old, I will never look back on college and say, "I wish I had done things differently."
Being alone has made this a reality. I have become so sure of myself and the goals I have. The aspirations and dreams that I will not back down on and the way I want to live; I can thank being single for that.
Although love comes when you least expect it, and I do believe that finding love in college is a magical thing that can make you the best version of yourself, I am on a different path. When love finds me, I am glad that I am in a place where I know what I want and that I exude confidence. Being alone has taught me how to be independent so that I do not need a relationship, but that I want one instead.
Love is the most important thing in this world, and I cannot wait to see when it finds me. Until then, however, I am going to make fun of all my friends in relationships, eat a lot of food, and party like it's 1985 because that is what I want to do and no one can tell me not to.
