Finding your watering hole is a long process. It has to be a place where you feel comfortable, where you can talk to the bartenders casually, and where you make friends with a few of the other regulars. Finding that thin line where you can balance poise and the social lubricant that is alcohol is so so so tricky. It’s totally worth it to explore local bars where they know your name and your favorite drink, but it can go wrong in so many ways.

Getting Pukey

We’ve all been there. You’re the person that never takes shots, but for some reason, tonight seemed like a good night to be the shot-pro. What you don’t realize is that, when your bartender springs those shot glasses in front of you, on the house, he’s not looking out for your sobriety. Don’t get me wrong, complimentary shots are the sh*t. But when you’ve already got six beers on the belt and you've just added two shots, you’re heading straight towards the spins. But kudos to you for making it to the bathroom and somewhat in the toilet.

Getting Angry Drunk

This happens to the best of us, unfortunately. There will always be that one person or random event that makes you see red, especially when drunk. The crappiest part is knowing that you are right to be angry; you’re not overreacting, that person did shove you / flirt with your significant other / have a slight attitude over text. They become the enemy and no one is convincing you otherwise. This is the moment where terrible words are flung from your lips, where seething hatred fills your entire body, where self-righteousness takes an entirely different level. This, of course, will always result in a scene and will become a permanent memory to those around you that were slightly less drunk.

Getting Sad Drunk

Anything can set off your tears at this point; a hookup that suddenly dropped off the face of the earth; the memory of a deceased relative from years ago; that clerk that was unnecessarily mean to you earlier that day. This is when you realize that alcohol can bring you so high up and then drop you into a deep abyss of sadness and depression. Being sad-drunk is horrible because, like being angry-drunk, you believe everything running through your mind at that moment. There is no logic to this slurring voice in your head, but you somehow always wake up the next morning with puffy eyes, trying to recall why this peripheral thing affected you so much. And when you’re drunk and the crocodile tears come, you have no volume control, no poise, and a very inaccurate sense of who can hear or see you (cue the bartender asking your friend if you’re alright).

Getting Frivolous

You become overly generous with the tips you give, especially to the bartender that has been so kind to you with his complimentary shots and bogies. Three dollars here and three dollars there don’t seem like much at first, but when you’re looking for some of that twenty that you took out the night before, you realize how much that bartender made off of you. Or maybe that night you choose to switch to a different drink, something you’re not familiar with, and then the price of those individual drinks you had adds up and b*tch-slaps you in the face. Your original twenty dollar night transformed into a fifty dollar extravaganza, all for a brand or drink that you had never even heard of, but seemed good to your drunken mind.

Getting Close to the Bartender

This one is tricky. Your bartender, if he’s good, is well versed in flirting and ego boosting—although that doesn’t take much skill when dealing with drunk people. He experiences customers like you every night and uses his form of professionalism to gain better business. Unfortunately, it’s way too easy to misconstrue these exchanges and your relationship can go too far. Once this happens, going to that bar becomes a gamble—is he working tonight, is it going to be awkward, is he actually into me, etc. Over the counter flirtation is fine, encouraged actually, but once exchanging of the numbers has occurred; it’s gone too far.

Fortunately, you have common sense and Internet guides to help you find and survive in your favorite bars. And you’ll always have that nagging sober voice in the morning, reminding you to never do what you did last night again.