Many of us make it through college by working various part-time jobs. While in college I've worked as everything from a receptionist to a tour guide, but my favorite part-time job is definitely being a bartender. You get to see things that most people don't. You get to witness some of the most embarrassing things, but you also get to have a lot of fun while you're at it. Here are some thoughts that have entered my mind while being a bartender. To all you servers and bartenders out there, maybe you can relate!
1. That girl has only had two fruity drinks; there's no way she's already "feeling herself."
2. He's extremely sweaty and sloppy, and I think I should cut him off from all of the vodka and Red Bulls.
3. What do you mean you don't want to "taste the alcohol" in your drink? Why are you even at a bar?
4. Pretty sure that guy has a girlfriend and he is currently in a corner making out with a stranger.
5. Please don't tell me this guy is falling asleep on the bar. Wake up, wake up, before the bouncer sees you.
6. I know this girl is not paying me in quarters right now.
7. Just because you're in college does not give you an excuse not to tip.
8. I have literally never heard of that shot. Ever.
9. Ugh, he did not just order a drink with nine different liquors in it? (Oh, looks like we're out of three liquors that that drink contains.)
10. Yelling my name because you heard one of my friends yell my name does not make me get your order quicker.
11. I'm going as fast as I can, people. Give me a second to breathe.
12. Did that guy really just yell at me? Alright, now I'm pissed. Not taking his order ever again.
13. To the ungrateful girls that get drinks sent to them from across the bar, the least you could do is walk over and say thank you.
14. I've never wanted Jimmy John's more in my entire life.
15. The last 25 minutes the bar is open are the longest 25 minutes of your life.
16. I'm not your therapist, and I don't really know if you should get a divorce or not.
17. I'm not a taxi service, so no, I will not give you a ride home. (Unless you're my friend and stranded.)
18. If you're 40 or older please refrain from hitting on me or any girl at the bar that's my age. It's just creepy.
19. Wow, that girl is going to regret dancing like that in the morning.
20. Stop making it look like you're having way more fun at the bar than you actually are via Snapchat.
21. Why is that girl crying?
22. I am not cleaning up that guy's vomit. Ew. No. I refuse.
23. My feet are numb.
24. That's all I made? Ugh, the struggle.
Be nice to your bartender. They can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
