Today I wore my simple, black and white Nike tennis shoes. Several people have similar shoes or even the same pair; including a good friend of mine. When I put them on this morning I thought that one felt a little tight so I untied it and retied going about my day. Come to find out that somehow my friend and I managed to switch one shoe. All day I've been wearing a size 7 on my left foot and a size 7.5 on my right foot.
Realizing that you are a hot mess is difficult to handle. Then again so is life. Being a Hot Mess means that your life is in disarray but you are great at convincing others (or yourself) that it is all put together nice and neat like grandma's puzzles she framed. Majority of the time people don't realize that they have become a hot mess until their life is spiraling out of control (i.e. me) (kidding...only partially).
Sighing deeply I stepped onto the obnoxious beeping contraption. I stared blankly at the floor of the bus until it halted at the stop I needed. "Thank you!" I chimed cheerfully as I hurriedly stepped off the bus and walked to class. During class I scribbled down notes and tried to absorb the boring lecture. I stopped dead in my tracks once I reached for my keys outside of the classroom. They weren't there. Lost on campus like a needle in a haystack.
When your life is in disarray you tend to feel like you're a joke. Like nothing you can do is ever the right thing. Am I even good enough for this task? Trust me, YOU ARE. Even if things tend to get a little wonky from time to time (or all the time). THAT'S OKAY, you can do it.
Slapping my alarm clock I groan. Monday morning once again. Half an hour later my eyes fling open in a panic. "FUCK...I'm late" I mumble as I throw the sheets off my bed and rummage through the clean clothes pile. Snatching a pop-tart off the counter and accidently slamming the door, I run down the stairs, rehearsing the excuse I'm going to tell the professor this time.un
You are precious and imperfect. You don't have things together right now and that's alright. You may never have things societally put together and guess what? That's alright!!! If life makes sense to you then so be it. There is a such thing as a high functioning Hot Mess, and I am living proof of that. Life is hectic and full of crazy things which surround us every second of every day. We all have bad days, but they are still days.
Much love,
your friendly neighborhood hot mess
