Horrors of a Woman's Period

13 reasons A Woman's Period Is A True Horror Story

Blood. Acne. Fatigue. More blood.

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Women not only have to deal with societal pressures but physical ones as well. Ladies and gentlemen, yes; I am talking about the woman, the myth, the legend, "The Period."

1. PMS

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Hey, it's the body, the woman's body. Live and in stereo. If you're hearing this, then you must be PMS. Yeah, I know all about you. You like to creep up on me two weeks earlier than you should. I'm pretty sure I'll suffer enough in two weeks.

2. Mood swings

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It's funny how one minute you can be laughing at a stupid joke and the next minute crying over a cute dog. This ladies, is what is called mood swings. Get ready for a whole week of unexplainable irritation, and unexpected tears to stream down your face.

3. Bloating

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You'd think I'd have enough fun with the PMS and mood swings and all. But no, bloating decided to join the party. Rest in peace to my new jeans. It was nice knowing you fit me at a point pre-period. Give me two weeks, and I swear you'll fit again. Maybe.

4. Cravings

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Okay, so maybe those jeans won't fit again. With all of these cravings the period brings me, I'm surprised I'll be able to fit into my other jeans. But who cares? I'm about to eat this chocolate cake and I don't care. Why? Because my period is coming and I sure as hell deserve it.

5. Low self-esteem

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And just like my self-esteem just went from 100 to 0, and yes, it was real quick thank you for asking. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that chocolate cake. Damn, cravings.

6. Blood

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Make it stop. Why won't it stop? I just want it to stop.

7. Cramps

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With every period comes the horrendous cramps. If you're a girl that doesn't suffer the hell that is cramps, I envy you. These babies can get so bad to the point where you can't even walk because your body is so sore. No wonder why we treat ourselves with chocolate cake, dammit.

8. Bleeding through

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This has got to be every woman's worst nightmare. Imagine this. You're sitting in class wearing your brand new white shorts, and you have to use the bathroom. You get up, and hear gasps. You look down and see a little red dot on your chair. You think, "No. It can't be." Now you're running to the bathroom, and what do you know? Mother nature decided to come early this month.

9. Tiredness

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Just when you thought you it would stop at the cramps, it doesn't. You feel tired all over, your body aches, and all you want to do is just take a nap. I don't see how this isn't different than everyday, but trust me, it's worse on your period.

10. Crying for no reason at all

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I'm a woman. I'm sensitive. Don't look at me.

11. Tampons

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Tampons are weird. For the girls that can do it, I applaud you. But aren't you afraid that it can get stuck in there?

12. Spotting

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Spotting can mean one of two things either A: you're pregnant or B: your period is coming very soon. The horror of that anxiety is haunting. When your period comes, you're thanking God a million times

13. Acne

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Not only is our self-esteem low from everything else, but of course acne comes to join the party to make everything worse. Shout out to my hormones for adding even more redness to my face. It's very much appreciated.

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14 Stages Of Buying Jonas Brothers Concert Tickets As A 20-Something In 2019

"Alexa, play "Burnin' Up" by the Jonas Brothers."

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In case you missed it, the Jonas Brothers are back together and, let me tell you, they're giving us some major jams. For those of us who were there when it all began back in 2007 with their first album, It's About Time, this has been one of the most important events of the year. But nothing, and I mean nothing can rival the excitement every twenty-something felt as the Jonas Brothers announced their Happiness Begins tour. I, for one, put my name in for ticket presale, have been following every single social media site related to the tour/group, and, of course, listening to the Jonas Brothers on repeat. And if you did manage to snag tickets, then you know that this is how your brain has been ever since they announced the tour.

1. Finding out that they're going on tour

2. Hopefully entering your name into the lottery to get presale tickets

3. Finding out that you actually get to buy presale tickets

4. Impatiently waiting for your presale tickets by listening to their songs on repeat

5. And remembering how obsessed you used to be (definitely still are) with them

6. Trying to coordinate the squad to go to the concert with you

7. Waiting in the Ticketmaster waiting room...

8. ...And feeling super frantic/frustrated because there are about 2000 people in line in front of you

9. Actually getting into the site to buy the tickets

10. Frantically trying to find seats you can actually pay for because, let's be real, you're twenty-something and poor

11. Managing to actually get the seats you want

12. Joyfully letting your squad know that you've done it

13. Crying a little because all of the dreams you've had since 2007 are coming true

14. Listening to every single Jonas Brothers song on repeat (again)

If you, like me, have finally fulfilled one of your dreams since childhood, then congrats, my friend! We've made it! Honestly, of all the things I've done in my adult life, this might be the one that child me is the most proud of.

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20 Things Only Seattleites Will Understand

It's socially acceptable to put your gum on a wall for decoration, wear socks with Birkenstocks, and take a casual stroll in the rain.

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You're probably not from the Greater Seattle Area if any of the below surprise you:

1. How to pronounce Issaquah, Puyallup, Sequim, Mukilteo, and Snohomish.

Mukilteo Lighthouse

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If you're curious, it's is-uh-cwa, pew-al-up, s-kwim, muh-kill-tea-oh, and snow-hoe-mih-sh.

2. The sheer terror one inch of snow can bring to a population.

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Winter is simply not our season.

3. Being from Seattle (but not really from Seattle).

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Where are you from? Snohomish. Where's that? A little bit Southeast of Everett. Where? Seattle. I live in Seattle.

4. RBIS.

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Redbull Italian sodas are the MOVE. So good. Not really good for you, but really yummy nonetheless. They don't really look like this picture but you get the idea.

5. Swimming is an indoor sport.

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Brrrrrrrrrrrrr.

6. Air conditioning is a luxury.

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I think I know approximately 5 people with AC units in their houses. It's not because it never gets hot because it does but it's hot for like 2 seconds of the year.

7. Eastern and Western Washington are different countries.

Eastern Washington Palouse

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It's kind of like Narnia once you've crossed the Cascades.

8. Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital doesn't exist.

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I don't know if that's the most updated version of the hospital (no spoilers please), but regardless, Grey's Anatomy is very confused on the geography and overall layout of the city. But it's a good show, so whatever.

9. Socks & sandals.

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I can't explain it, but it works... A fit for all seasons.

10. Tap water anywhere else is just not the same.

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It's just... different. Not in a good way.

11. Honking is a sin.

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Instead, politely smile and curse under your breath you let another terrible driver merge in front of you. Avoid the confrontation at all costs; save the horn for saying hi to those people that stand with signs on street corners.

12. 

Space Needle

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Not many cities have a similar collective passion for not just one, but all, professional sports teams. Of course, the city's pride for 12s is something else.

13. If you use an umbrella, you're weak.

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It's survival of the fittest out here.

14. Portland is JV Seattle.

Portland, Oregon

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We were cool first.

15. The flannel lives on.

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She knows what's up.

16. Dick's.

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Get your head out of the gutter. It's a burger place.

17. Ferries are a common form of transportation.

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Want to go see a drive in movie? Get some ice cream on Whidbey? Go to your cabin on the San Juans? Visit Sequim (ha)? Walk or drive on the ferry. Easy.

18. Lakes > beaches.

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Nothing beats the mountains, wineries, boating, and cliff jumping opportunities on the lake. It's carefree, fresh water, and of course, beautiful.

19. Coffee.

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Nobody really does it like we do, let's be real.

20. It doesn't actually rain thaaaaaat much.

I'm pretty sure there are a bunch of East Coast cities that get more rain than we do. It's just got that gloom that makes you feel like it might as well be raining, you know? Raise your hand if you're vitamin D deficient! Woo!

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