Halloween is right around the corner. Maybe you're trick-or-treating the night of October 31. Maybe you've been invited to a Halloween party. Whatever the reason, now may be the time where you start panicking upon realizing that you don't have a costume. If you're reading this list hoping for some killer costume ideas, well, um, this isn't it. But I can help steer you away from poor costume choices! Every year, Halloween proves that people can come up with truly clever costumes...and produce some of the most heinous costumes. This list will hopefully assist you in choosing a not terrible costume.
Side note: I didn't include Weed Baby of the cover photo on this list. But this is me warning you to not dress your baby up as marijuana.
(A lot of these are women's sexy costumes. Because they are the worst. Do not go as a sexy something if that something shouldn't be sexy.)
#1: A One-Night Stand
Part of me is inclined to like this costume. Heehee! It's a pun! But the other part of me says this isn't the most tasteful costume you could choose. Maybe your friends will find it amusing. Or maybe you'll be met with a series of awkward laughs followed by a forced, "Oh. That's...clever."
#2: Sexy Cowardly Lion
Because you know what I think when I watched The Wizard of Oz? "Dang, I wish the Cowardly Lion had more sex appeal." Thank goodness for this costume.
#3: Sexy Robin Hood
Remember in the original legends when Robin Hood defeated Prince John and the Sheriff of Nottingham by sheer power of his hot, well-toned legs? Me neither. Plus this is terrible outlaw gear. It protects absolutely nothing vital.
#4: Sexy SWAT Team Member
Swat the heck is this?
#5: AlSexander Hamilton
I truly wish I did not live in a world where we have...sexy Founding Father costumes. I cannot believe just typed those words in that specific order right now.
#6: "Mr. Billionaire"
Gee, I could never guess who this "Mr. Billionaire" is supposed to be. If you're going to go as something, commit to it. Don't rename yourself when everyone obviously knows who you're supposed to be. And while we're here, don't go as Trump. Don't go as Clinton either. Because stuff like this is what we have for her costumes.
Also, nobody wants to think about the impending election on Halloween. Give everyone a break.
#7: Whatever this is
Does anyone know what this is supposed to be? No? Pro-tip: If you don't know what you're supposed to be, nobody else will know either. And confusion is not the reaction you want your costume to garner.
#8: Sexy Harambe
Do. Not. Do. This. There are a million reasons people could cite as to why you shouldn't go as Harambe. My reason is merely that I thought the Harambe craze was stupid. Harambe was one of the most idiotic pop cultural phenomenons of this year. And naturally, we had to make it sexy. The first time I saw this costume, my eyes rolled so far back into my head I think I have permanent eye damage.
#9: Toilet
This is kind of a crappy costume, don't you think?
#10: Roadkill
It's the disembowelment on this costume that gets me. I can't think of many people that really want to look at intestines hanging out all night.
There are ten Halloween costumes you should probably avoid this year for Halloween (or any year, really). If you decide to go with one of these costumes anyway, don't say I didn't warn you.
