Happiness.
For the longest time -- oh god, four years probably -- that always seemed to be the one thing I craved but never got. Not even happiness even; just a sense of inner peace. Solitude inside my head. To be able to enjoy a moment of peace inside my own head without constant screaming that was so loud not even music could drown it out. This seemed but a wish that would never be granted.
But happiness, I did receive. Not by chance; by change. Perhaps the chemicals in my brain did balence themselves out, but all I know is it was all me. I started making some life changes such as spending less time on my phone and practicing meditation regularly, and things started turning out. The voices quieted down. My mind wasn't bombarded with thoughts 24/7. The inside of my head finally became a peaceful place to be. Flowers filled my soul instead of demons.
I began making time to explore new interests and hobbies. I filled myself with these things. I found myself in them. I have passions and dreams and goals, and those are what make life worth living. I'm excited for the future yet I'm content with the here and now. I was reborn again and I was never looking back. I was the happiest I had ever been and with each day, I feel that happiness growing and growing.
My wish for the semester? It's simply to keep growing and work even more toward building a future I'm proud of. Because when the future becomes more and more defogged, I'll have something to keep me going on the hard days; an incentive to get me through what I'm going through. I pray I never forget what I've learned in the light even when I'm encompassed by darkness. It'd be unreasonable to wish that my days always remain as peachy and bright because unfortunately, that's not how life works. I just pray that I always find the strength to stay afloat in rough waters long enough to experience the sunrise again. Because how quickly we forget the things that make life worth living in a moment of darkness.
I'm finally able to clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel even though many aspects of my future still remain uncertain. May I always be so lucky
