Every time I talk to anyone about anything even relatively romantic, I hear the same two words in different variants: "you're just a hopeless romantic", "your hopeless romantic side in gonna kill you", etc. I'm so tired of my love of love being seen as hopeless. Why does my imagination of romantic scenes and high expectations give me the air of hopelessness? Am I to blame for the idea that love is something beautiful, that should be celebrated?
These two words used to haunt me. The concept of "hopeless" and "romantic" being used in the same sentence used to plague me. How could romance be something hopeless? Is romance itself not an act of hope and courage? My young writer mind would rip the idea to shreds but never enough to come to terms with the idea that being a "hopeless romantic" is normal. It's natural to be a called a hopeless romantic if I read love novels, watch rom-com's, called myself Carrie Bradshaw and identified with each character Molly Ringwald ever played. But as I've grown older, I've developed a distaste for this normality. This constant reassurance that I am hopeless for believing that love is real and should be cherished in all the beautiful ways it's cherished in movies and books and art. I've grown and realized that it's not me that is hopeless, it's the world that's lost its hope. It's hope in love, and in romance and in passionately kissing on the busiest street corner in the pouring rain. Where are all the young men holding boomboxes outside of my window? People aren't screenwriters and love isn't like the movies but I say, why can't it be? Why am I not allowed to expect movie-like loves scenes and happiness like the movies? I am sick and tired of being told my standards are "too high" and that my expectations of something so beautiful and surreal should be lower. If I am going to be in love, you better believe it'll be a love that people write movies about. Screenwriters get ideas of love based off of people and real life. I say if it can happen in a movie, it can happen to me.
"Hopeless romantics" aren't hopeless. We're the most hopeful group of people you'll ever meet. We'll overthink extended eye contact and we'll romanticize our hands brushing lightly against a stranger's. I'll ask everyone about a million times who their dream soulmate is and I'll tell you I love you about a million times to Sunday and I will get hurt. I'll get hurt harder than any pessimist because I will fall really hard and really fast. I will feel my ex-boyfriends hands on my shoulders and in my hands for years after he's left because I keep these things close to my heart. I will never forget what "Casablanca" and "Pretty In Pink" taught me the way to love and I'll always thank Nicolas Sparks for my expectations on walking on the beach and going to the movies.
I cuddle myself to sleep in practice for my future husband so I do it right and I kissed my hand about a thousand times to make sure that my first kiss was just like "The Fault In Our Stars." I live and breathe romance and I walk searching for love in every single thing but you've got a big storm coming if you think I'll ever apologize for it or think of myself as hopeless.
I've got to end this article with my favorite quote on this subject:
"I'd rather be a hopeless romantic than a skeptic, because while the hopeless romantic may get burned many times, the skeptic will never really experience love."
-Kealohilani, "Half-Hearts"
