I can't count the number of times I've heard young women say, "I hope I marry someone rich!" It's such a common phrase that I usually don't think anything of it when I hear someone proudly exclaim that their life goal is to marry a rich husband. I have even heard it hundreds of times from women who are in college, working on attaining a degree, but telling me they planned to marry someone rich so they wouldn't have to use their degree to work. After pondering "The Phrase" and its implications, I realized I have some major issues with this simple and seemingly harmless phrase.

Personally, I want to be able to support myself, with or without a husband. However, I understand women who choose to stay home with their children during the day and making motherhood their full time job while their husband works. I don’t have any issue with that—in fact, I admire it. My mom did that for me and my sisters and I believe it was the best choice for our family. I don’t hate "The Phrase" so much for the feminist side of things. The issue I have with the “I want to marry rich” phrase is that it’s selfish. When someone says they want to marry rich, they’re saying this so they can gain from the wealth. They’re not saying the phrase because they hope their husband is successful, but because they want to live a life of ease and benefit financially.

I hope I marry rich. I do. I hope that if I love someone enough to decide to spend the rest of my life with that person, I love him enough to wish every success for him. So yes, I hope I marry rich, because I will love my future husband and want him to succeed for himself. If he equates success with richness, then of course I want that for him. I’m not just talking rich as in money—if my husband measures success by being rich in happiness, spiritually rich, or any other form, I still hope I marry rich. When I say this, I say it out of love, not selfishness. I’ll have my own means to support myself financially, so I truly don’t hope to marry rich so I never have to work. A marriage should be based on love and respect for each other, and if you truly love someone, you want what’s best for that person. If you want to marry rich because you hope to marry someone you love and you want success for that person because you love him or her, fine. In that case, "The Phrase" is acceptable and natural. If you’re saying "The Phrase" for selfish reasons, just stop and think. Should financially rich be the biggest criteria for marrying a person? Or would you rather marry someone you truly love, even if he or she isn’t the next Bill Gates? Maybe I'm reading too much into "The Phrase," but maybe not. Maybe we need a wake up call if we value money over love.