Dear you.

I love you. I always will. You will always have a special piece of my heart because darling, you were the first one I ever gave my heart to. I loved you. 

Our break up was hard. We both had messed up and we both did things we regret.. Me more so than you. I will always hold some type of resentment towards myself for letting my emotions and my wants cloud my need to the point where I hurt you. I never did mean to hurt you or to hurt your relationships with people. I can say I'm sorry a million times and never be able to fix the hurt that I caused you. For me, I'm not trying to fix us and I'm not trying to be your rebound after our own breakup. I think I say I'm sorry so much because I am. I'm sorry for hurting you because I loved you and I cared about you. Seeing you hurt was the last thing I ever wanted. I'm sorry.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just scrolling through my phone looking at the photos of us. We were so happy. So in love. You can just see it in our eyes. And sweetheart, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about you all the time. You're always on my mind still. I still cry sometimes. I wonder if you do too. It still hurts that the love I see in those photos is gone. In our last photographs together, you can see the disconnection. You can see that one of us was more in it than the other. You can see that the connection we used to have is no longer. I guess it was for the better that we ended our little love story.

I hope you're doing good with where you are right now. I hope that you're finding yourself and you're finding everything you ever wanted in life. You deserve it times a million. I hope that one day you find love. Your forever love. I hope that she gives you everything that you want and I hope she makes you smile and laugh uncontrollably. I hope that you're together forever. I hope that you have a beautiful family one day and if you want, I think I'd like a holiday card one day. Please know that I care about you always and I'll always be here to pick you up. I loved you. I might even still love you.

Forever and always first love.