Nothing about your school’s sex-ed program ever prepared you for the practical application of the before, during, and after of a one night stand. Hooking up is one of those things that people get real defensive about -- either they wholeheartedly support the hookup culture, or they look down on people who choose to hookup. Both extremes are so entirely prevalent that it’s no wonder there’s so much confusion surrounding hookup culture. I’m here to help. Here’s a list of questions you should be asking yourself before you hookup, and tips for the hookup itself:

1. Are you into it?

Don’t feel pressured to participate in a random hookup if that’s just not your thing. A good rule to have is if you’re not totally comfortable in the situation: do not pursue it. At any time, you are allowed to say no.

2. Is your partner into it?

Now that we have your consent ask yourself, “Is my partner into this, too?” If yes, then hooray! May the sweet mouth kisses continue! If no, then it is time to step back and reassess the situation. If your partner says no, is clearly not into it (not reciprocating, stops participating, goes limp, etc.), or is for any reason unable to give consent, do not attempt to hookup with them. Despite what Robin Thicke might say, there are no such things as “blurred lines” when it comes to consent. Consent is a clear, sober, and enthusiastic yes from all parties involved. If you feel awkward asking, let me assure you there is nothing sexier than whispering “Can I…” or “Do you like this?” before things get too hot and heavy.

3. Are you hooking up with this person because you want to, or are you doing it for another reason?

The only reason you should be hooking up with someone is if you’re doing it for you, because you want to. Reasons you should not be hooking up with someone are: you feel pressured; you feel bad about yourself; or you want to make someone like you.

Hooking up for any of these reasons is a recipe for instant regret. If you’re doing it because your friends are doing it, then, I mean, I hate to sound like your mom, but if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it ,too? Your sex life is your business -- it shouldn’t be another person’s decision for you! Sex isn’t a magic self-esteem booster, either. Often, hooking up in order to feel better about yourself can make you feel even worse. Sure, it’s nice to have someone focus all their attention on you, but once that’s over you’re right back where you started. The same goes for trying to use sex to make someone like you -- if they didn’t share your feelings before sex; chances are you’ll still be at square one afterwards. Spare yourself the heartache, you’re way too cute to be sad!

4. Don’t go into a hookup with any expectations for the future or commitment.

Your body isn’t a bargaining chip to win someone’s affection -- have sex with someone because you like them and you want to, not to appease someone in the hopes that something more will come of it. The nature of hookups is to have fun and go with the flow. If you’re carrying some expectations of commitment into this one night stand, you’re cruisin’ for some emotional bruisin’. On the same note, if you do have feelings for someone then make sure you communicate with them before you pursue any sexy stuff! If you both have different ideas of what will happen after sex, then things will get messy, fast. Because, you know, being “just friends” after seeing each other’s downstairs mix-ups can be weird for everyone involved.

5. Have fun! (and maybe even have an orgasm or five).

The best sex advice I could ever give is to read your partner’s body. Being in tune with your partner’s responses and body language during sex is, literally, the sexiest thing. If they’re moaning, squirming or summoning our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ during sex, you’re doing something right. Go with it. Remember to give as much as you receive (and don’t be afraid to ask if you’re not receiving your fair share). And if you’re worried about how you look, then listen here you adorable little vixen: your partner wouldn’t want to do the do with you if they didn’t think you were so hot that you were the reason Earth’s climate was changing. Be confident!

6. Above all, and I can’t stress this enough -- be safe!

I don’t care if he says he’s too big; I don’t care if he says he’ll pull out; I don’t care if it doesn’t “feel the same” -- if you or your partner has a penis, wear a condom. STIs are very real, very common, and very itchy. More importantly, some STIs are for life (herpes, HIV, and AIDS to name a few). Even the treatable ones can really mess up your reproductive system! If you’re a heterosexual lady, consider going on an oral contraceptive pill, IUD, or other contraceptive method to avoid any unwanted pregnancy. The morning-after pill, Plan B, is always there for you over the counter if you need it. Plan B should not be your first, last, and only contraceptive method. That’s why it’s called Plan B and not Plan A -- get it? There’s also plenty more fun contraceptive methods than just the ones I’ve listed. Find the one that’s right for you! If you have multiple partners, then make sure you get yourself tested for STIs at least once a year. Some STIs don’t always present symptoms, so better safe than sorry!

Love yourself, take care of yourself, and go out there and get lucky.