Casual sex is something that has become so common within our society. One quick glance at magazine sites like "Cosmopolitan" or "Elle." Even popular sites such as "Buzzfeed" all discuss sex with a very casual no fuss attitude. It has become something that people no longer feel taboo or scandalous to talk about.
Especially as younger generations from college to entry levels are actively embracing the "hook up culture," there is this idea that it's okay to have casual flings and hook ups. As a society, today, we have pushed a sort of sexual freedom, instilling in people that there should be no shame in their desires and their lifestyle.
We have fostered a society that is unafraid and open to being sexually active and not ashamed about it. Popular apps like tinder and bumble have become a staple in the dating/hook up world. Encouraging an atmosphere of little to no emotional connection and strong physical connections. It's become so normal, in fact, that straying away from this lifestyle has become more taboo.
There is another culture that is largely influencing our society. While hook up culture has, for many, felt empowering and revolutionary, this sets a much more somber tone.
Rape culture.
This is something that has been a problem in our society for a long while. The ideas that young men or women who have been victims of sexual assault are either to blame or exaggerating.
Rape culture is something that has sparked several movements and marches to change the way we speak and act about sexual assault as a country.
When we look at these two mentalities side by side it is easy to see how efforts to change one and not the other might actually be detrimental to the cause. Sending the message that it's perfectly okay to hook up and desire casual sex, and being frigid and judgemental about that is wrong, can seem to enhance that of the victim blaming and exaggerating.
Young people who are told they were "asking for it" or "probably should have said no" even in some instances "Didn't fight back so they must have wanted to" are made to feel that society only accepts those ready and willing to embrace the hook up lifestyle. While they are only shamed and left to feel worse at a time where comfort and support should be at the front of how they are treated.
As a whole, seeming to uplift and encourage casual sex seems to be a way to let the ugly nasty truth of rape get swept under the rug. It becomes seemingly harder and harder to prove consent was not there, and fewer charges are being made.
With only 60 percent of crimes even being reported and less actually being charged, it has been shown time again that even if the case is solid it doesn't mean that victims will get justice. Take for instance he infamous Brock Turner case.
Even when a public figure such as Bill Cosby or R. Kelly or Danny Masterson are accused of assault there is either massive support to claim that it hadn't happened, charges are dropped, settlements are made or there is an acquittal.
More often than not these stories are hidden and swept under the rug. When they do pick up media interest there always seems to be a way to spin it so these men become the victims.
It is prevalent in our society that we are more eager and inclined to support sexual freedom than the protection of dignity. We will sooner turn a blind eye than stand up and fight.
Until we can realize that protecting is more important than promoting there will be very little change in how we treat those who are victims of rape culture.
