I’m an awkward person. I wanted to be honest about a few things so people can better understand what’s going through my mind. It isn't that I dislike you, it's that I just don't know how to function in certain day-to-day events. This is just how I am and I'm beginning to get better, but I want you to understand that if I do something like this it's just because I'm awkward!

I hide behind my phone when I feel uncomfortable.

You’ll usually see me pull up Facebook or Instagram during an uncomfortable conversation or silence. It doesn’t matter if I’ve already scrolled through Instagram and “hearted” all of those pictures because I sure as heck will do it again. This isn’t because I don’t like you! Please don’t think that! It’s because I don’t know what to say and/or I just feel uncomfortable.

I’ll become really quiet randomly.

This isn’t because I don’t want to talk to you. This is because I really enjoy listening to you and I also may have nothing to say. I’m really bad at coming up with questions to ask people, so if I ask a question and it seems super weird it’s because I’m trying really hard to not be awkward.

Sometimes I can be social and interact with people like a normal person.

If it’s something I love to talk about or if it’s a subject I know a lot about, I won’t be shy! Like most people, if it’s something I’m passionate about I’ll talk your ear off. Also, if I really like you and feel comfortable I can be social.

Crushes.

“jfjnushrbeidsf.” This is what is going through my mind as I talk to you -- if I’m talking to you.

My sense of humor is rather dry.

Yeah, "The Office" and "Napoleon Dynamite" are funny to me. I laugh at my own jokes and I’m super sarcastic. If I crack a joke and no one else laughs I’ll get quiet because I’m freaking out a little bit inside, it’s not because I’m mad or that I don’t like the fact that you don’t have the same sense of humor, it’s that I don’t know how to react at that point.

I’m super sarcastic.

Odds are that if someone doesn’t get my sarcasm they think I’m a mean person. I promise you that I’m not being mean, I’m just being sarcastic. I know it can be hard to tell sometimes, but it's only sarcasm.

I hate trying to talk to new people.

“Hi, I’m... ! (sticks arm out to shake hands while I think in my mind, What do I say now?)

I strongly dislike calling people.

I think this is the worst thing in the world. If it has anything to do with calling people, I will flip a lid and pray that someone else comes along to do it for me.

If I flake out on you it’s because I caught a case of anxiety.

Someone I was good friends literally said I was super flaky. Not only did that make me feel super awful, but it also made me realize how anxious I get about things. A lot of the time what happens is that I’ll plan to do something and then hours before I’ll get hit with a major case of the anxieties which stops me from going.

I do want to be friends with you!

I’m a work in progress and I’m really trying hard to get out of this awkward funk. I’m trying to stop hiding behind my phone. I’m working on my conversations and asking more questions. I’m attempting to be less flaky and to not commit to too much so I don’t get so anxious. The thing you’ve got to understand is that I’m trying.

This is me being honest with you.

Sincerely,
The awkward kid.