Do you ever miss me like I miss you?

Do you ever weep because you remember all the good times?

Every kiss, heartbreak, laugh, death, ceremony, story told, and every experience that mattered

I told you about them all.

You were there for them all.

You never left me alone.

But I left you…

I left you in the summer

And then again in the winter…

Lord knows I miss you the most right now.

I miss watching the dark clouds cover the sky with you

I miss seeing the sky lit up in all colors of warmth with you

The clouds brightened and then darkened in the distance

I miss seeing the double rainbows with you

I miss smelling the earth and hearing the frogs with you

I miss seeing my grandma's land covered in beauty, you remember?

The type of beauty that can't be captured in pictures

Or in words

Or even in memory

I miss being there to feel it all, I remember.

I feel an actual ache and pain in my chest from missing it

From missing you…

Lord, Creator help me to bear this pain

It makes me sick

I can feel my stomach tighten and turn from the discomfort and sadness

The space between my rib cage feels like the canyons at home

Dry without the holy rain from home

Ragged and sharp without the comfort from home

Deep and desolate with a trace of human contact

I talk about a person who feels like home

Because she is home

Shik'e - my family

Shidine'e - my people

Shikeyah - my land

Shimanahasdzaan - my Mother Earth

I miss you, do you miss me?