For slightly under a decade, we have all become familiar with the duck face. The popularity of this kissy face pose skyrocketed in 2012 with the rise of the 'gram and has been a staple ever since. Whether you love it or hate it, the duck face has become part of our culture. Furthermore it has become a solution. Don't like your hair? Duck face. Night out with the girls after a break-up? Duck face. $2 in your bank account but you're holding a new handbag? Duck face. Unemployed and fabulous? Duck face. Overwhelmed with self loathe? Duck face.
It's clearly Siri's favorite selfie pose since she seems to autocorrect my expletives to "duck" all the time. Duck face isn't raging as strong as it did in 2013 but regardless, it is here to stay in some capacity.
The reason I'm bringing this up is that duck is one letter away from being the word d*ck. I am coining a term for the tragic way most young guys pose for pictures today: the d*ck face. If you don't know what d*ck face is, you live under a rock and/or don't know any men under 30. If you're a college girl like me you know exactly what I'm talking about: the classic pic of a guy and all his bros looking like a bunch of angry looking jerks who won't even pay for your Uber. Arms are crossed. Chins tilted slightly up. The worst is if their arms are crossed and clasped together in front of their crotch as if they are a top draft pick for the NFL (but that is a spinoff issue to this topic).
Guys, I ask you this holiday season, with the multitude of photos you're likely to take, to abandon your d*ck face. You look out of place in the photo next to your adorable grandma when you're scowling as if you're fantasizing about killing her. Even if you are, do a better job of hiding this! If she died and I was a lawyer I would use that photo as evidence that you should be a suspect in the case. Stop this.
Don't act like five minutes before this picture was taken you weren't singing along to the Michael Buble Christmas album like the rest of us. You walk among us and you're not above smiling for a picture! Not cracking a smile in pics is only cool when Kanye does it. You are not Kanye. I'm going to say it again for the boys in the back: YOU.ARE.NOT.KANYE.
Why are you looking like you think you are so cool and enjoy being a jerk while you are at the Thanksgiving table? This is a happy time of year and now your mother has no photos to frame because you think that you are on the same level as a rapper. Social media is ruining people's hallway photo displays. There is no penance for that.
On New Years Eve look less angry about the fact that you will probably not complete any of the resolutions you are making (if you even make any). You look scary.
I think it's sad that guys don't smile and of course that's from years of telling them to toughen up but please read this and change your ways! Let your sunshine out this holiday season! Channel your inner Clark Griswold! #endd*ckface2020
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