Hockey has always been apart of my life. I have been a Devils fan since I was born, and even played for several years of my childhood. I love the sport, and as I grew older I missed being apart of such a wonderful thing, and a family, but I wasn’t sure how I could have that again. I had started high school shy and blended in easily. It was just pure luck that I had happened to be wearing a Devils jersey, when the senior manager approached me and engulfed me in a hug and screamed. She asked me if I liked hockey, and then followed up by asking if I wanted to be a manager. I said yes, without knowing what I would be getting myself into. Now here I am, seven years later, not-so patiently waiting for my college’s weekend game.

First I want to speak of my high school years, managing the Lancers, and forever being apart of the #GreenArmy. My first game ever, I was met with twenty-something boys much bigger than me, all wondering who I was and why I had a notebook and cupcakes in my hand. If only I had known that over four years I would grow with these boys, and how much I would cherish the memories after it was all said and done. My first year I was just getting the hang of things, and began with my life of stat taking. My fourteen-year-old self was in love with all of the older boys, and I craved more games. The coaches were like family to me, and the rink became my second home. That year, being a hockey manager meant that I had an escape from my first year of high school, boy drama, and bullies. For me, it was the start of the only thing in high school that would make me happy and stay constant.

This is the only picture I have from my first year, because I had braces and a flip phone. Sorry. Scroll down and look at the transformation!

My second year, I had all new managers, because the other ones were seniors. I was beyond nervous, and then I met them, only to find out that they were three of the most gorgeous girls I had ever met. Not helping the whole “I want a hockey player to fall in love with me” thing. My sophomore year, I made bonds and memories with my managers, ones that I will never forget. The song “No Hands” by Waka Flocka will always bring a smile to my face. I watched all my boys grow, and even get a little better. Right in the middle of hockey season that year, I experienced my first heartbreak. Being a manager meant doing something that made me genuinely smile, even if only for a little while. For me, it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

See how beautiful they are? It was always a great time managing with them, they were always my rides. They're seniors in college now, we're all really old!

My third year, was our best year by far, skills wise. We made it so far, and that year we had the most amazing fan base, the Green Army. That year, my managers were the same, and I had close friendships with many of the players by then. I had become the manager that knew everything about hockey, and I dressed up for each game and screamed louder than anyone. My third year was a year of SATs, college visits, and prom, but the only thing that mattered to me was if we were going to make playoffs. (We did, and knocked Morris Knolls out on their home turf after they all bleached their hair for playoffs. My college hockey team has three of those players on it, what a small world.) Being a hockey manager meant giving me the strength to leave behind those in my life that were no longer a positive influence. For me, it changed my life for the better.

Shoutout to Coaches Dave and Ken, you gave me the opportunity of a lifetime and led an amazing team.

My fourth year, was emotional in more ways than one. I had been broken up with, had no idea where to go to college, and didn’t want to say goodbye to what had brought me so much joy all these years. I dreaded the season approaching, because I knew (thought) it would be my last. This year was the only year I ever got to wear a jersey for more than a game, I basically stole it from a friend on the team. I was put with new managers, I the only senior, and to this day we still keep in touch. In any other social scenario, they most likely wouldn’t have hung out with me, and I them. But this group of twenty-something boys brought us together and the inside jokes and laughs just came naturally. My last year of high school, I had to pass on my managerial tips to my younger peers. My last year as a manager, at our yearly team dinner, I cried as I was honored and as I opened my presents from my managers. Being a hockey manager meant that in our last playoff game, where the loss was apparent, I cried openly as I wrote down the stats one last time, and hugged my friend next to me. For me, it was the one thing about high school that I will always miss.

Shoutout to my high school team, missed you guys a little extra while writing this. #WeLoveTheCaptain #Barty #GreenArmy #Russia #FTB

My first year of college, I was in a college where I did not belong. Big on parties, it wasn’t for me. Still, I denied it and persevered on. I became the hockey manager, overjoyed that it was still even possible. The first few games were nice, but I soon found out I could not go to away games, meaning half of all season games, and where most of the memories were made. I knew not a single player, and for once in my life, I did not feel like a manager. Being a hockey manager meant that I discovered where I needed to be, just a year too late. For me, it helped me make one of the toughest decisions I have ever made.

At least I looked super cute at each game though.

Last year, my second year of college, I transferred to Montclair State University. My journey as a hockey manager began off to a great start and has been and always will be one of my favorite college experiences. This article has me feeling nostalgic about the years to come. The players here at MSU are sweet and funny, and are my family. I have 25 protective older brothers! Some of my greatest friendships, memories, and lessons learned have come out of my experience with MSU hockey. I can’t wait to see what the future brings me, because being a hockey manager means something to me. For me, it makes me happy, and makes me love my school even more than I already do.

This year, I am a junior at MSU. Because of the extremely wonderful experience I had with my team last year, I decided to expand the program and I hired 5 new managers! It was too much for me alone, and I miss the days in high school where I had other girls by my side to laugh with and help me out.

I say this every year, but this has been my favorite season yet. I have a close bond with my boys, and close friendships with my managers. Our group chat is always going off, and I can't wait for our weekly Wednesday meeting at the diner. Thank you to my MSU hockey boys, you have given me happiness I didn't think I could experience again. If I didn't love my majors so much I would manage hockey forever! Being a hockey manager means everything to me. For me, this is what made my high school years bearable, and what has been making my college years more extraordinary than I imagined.

Thanks for the memories, LHS, UD, and MSU.