High school was hard for everyone. The jocks, the preps, the stoners- they all had a hard time fitting in, being themselves, and staying afloat. Every F on a paper, fight at the dinner table and break up, tore us to shreds. There is no bigger pain than being an unhappy teenager.
The friends we made in high school, love them or hate them, are family. We failed together, we triumphed together, and more than anything we grew up together. They’ve seen us at our worst: vomiting after a late night of one too many 4Lokos, in hysterics over a rampaging boyfriend, and eating our sorrows away from a family feud. This is what makes our high school friends the most difficult relationships to maintain.
Once we go off to college, we hold on to some friendships from the earlier years, while others drift to the sidelines. We keep each other up to date on our latest frat boy hook ups and our roommate quarrels. As the semesters drudge along, our friendships change, and sometimes the hardest part is deciding which friendships are worth fighting for post graduation, and which ones are simply fueling the fire of an already grueling semester.
In high school I had a close group of friends. Over the years, this group changed, losing one or two friends here, gaining one or two friends there. By the time I graduated high school, I made a conscious effort to remain in touch with those I cared about, and cut off the ones that simply caused me drama and stress. However, looking back on my senior year, I think I made a few mistakes.
My close friends became family. They became my everything: my secret keepers, my party goers, and my confidantes. These expectations continued through my freshman and sophomore years of college, waiting for what I considered to be family, to answer my calls and texts. What I slowly came to realize is that not all friends are worth keeping.
We started talking less and fighting more. Our reunions were no longer exciting and comfortable, they were stressful and awkward. As a group, we were holding on to our high school memories, trying so hard to force a bond that had undoubtedly faded away.
I hold on to my high school friends, claiming some of them as sisters and brothers. However, I’ve realized that just like family, some friends you will always love and want in your life in some capacity, however they are just simply not worth fighting for. With every back stab and love lost, I’ve begun to ask myself, If I met you now, would I want to be your friend? More often than not, the answer has been no.
It's hard to know when to let go. Like any relationship, there is always a part of us that wants it to work. But again, like any relationship, there is always a part of us that knows when the history is no longer a good enough reason to hold on.
