I know I have said it before and I will say it again, but I can’t imagine my life without my brother Joel in it. I wouldn’t get his amazing hugs, get to sing with him, or just watch him enjoy life in general. All these amazing aspects of my life with Joel, plus so many more, wouldn’t have happened if we did not truly include him in our family. There are quite a number of families that have children with special needs that do not include them in their day to day life. Even though some family chose to live life like this, our family loves to have Joel as a part of our family and I can’t imagine it otherwise.

So often I hear and see stories of kids with special needs that are basically disregarded by their family. Their family makes an effort to spend as least amount of time with their child as possible. It is truly heartbreaking to me to hear and see these stories because there is so much joy and happiness that can come from these children even though they are disabled. The happiness can come from the simplest of things and being proud of the little victories in life. For example, Joel finally learned how to tie his shoes only a couple years ago, but that was so awesome to see that he’s still progressing and learning new skills.

Families that have a member that has special needs can feel defeated because it seems like all the odds are stacked against them. The world struggles to accept their children, they may see little progress in the child’s development, or they just think to what life would be like if their child was “normal”. These families tend to minimize their time with their child as a part of the grieving or denial process of having a child with special needs. Even though it's difficult, once families are able to accept their child for who they are, then they will be able to find so much more joy in celebrating the little things. It may involve more work on their part to find what the child can thrive in or what the child enjoys, but once that occurs not only will the family be happier, the child will also be living a more fulfilling life. Some of my proudest moments of having Joel as my brother wouldn’t have been able to happen if my family would have just attempted to hide him away from the public eye. For example, Joel loves to sing so my parents wanted him to be in choir in high school. This led to him being able to sing a solo in front of hundreds of people and bring tears to every eye in the auditorium. By trying to normalize Joel in our family and in public, he has truly inspired all of us and a lot of people he meets by all he is able to accomplish!

I know that I have discussed all the awesome aspects about having Joel as a constant part of our family, but there are times when a break is just feels necessary. About six years ago we took a short family vacation up to the Mall of America. While there Joel started throwing fits and getting lost which made for a pretty stressful trip. My mom asked me how I would feel if we were able to go on a trip without him and I was excited about this option because at times it can just be so much easier. We wouldn’t be limited by his seizures, diabetes, or attention span which could give us all the options of whatever we would want to do. Other than my trips to Haiti that I went on with my mom, we still haven’t had the opportunity to do a trip without Joel, but we still have been able to have plenty of fun ones with him anyway. Another similar daily struggle with this concept happened a lot when I was growing up. I was extremely involved with a lot of sports as a child and while in high school, but due to Joel’s needs only one parent was able to come while the other stayed home with Joel. I was truly blessed though in the first place to have both parents wanting to fully support me in my activities, but they had to make sacrifices to not be there to support me because of Joel which was difficult at times. Even though experiences like this were difficult, I would not be the person I am today without having Joel be such an influential part of my daily life.