In 4 Years, High School Taught Me To Live Better And Love Myself

In 4 Years, High School Taught Me To Live Better And Love Myself

Now I'm an 18-year-old who has realized her place in the world.

142
views

As high school graduation approaches, I'm beginning to reflect on the past four years of my life. I remember the start of it all as if it was yesterday. As a kid, I was outgoing, an overachiever who always had something to talk about.

But high school was different. I developed a fear of expressing myself and felt trapped by those around me. The kid who would conduct interviews at family parties and converse with strangers on trains was gone. However, one thing that I never lost was passion.

The next few years brought a tidal wave of emotion. Vice President of student council, co-captain of the rugby team, school ambassador, student writer - these were all titles I called my own. The overachiever in me had returned, but my mind was still trapped.

I could not go a day without worrying about the problems of others or being made out to be the villain in others' stories. It seemed like every day there was a new story about my life, and lost friends became the result of these narratives.

I grew to keep my heart guarded at all times, and I rarely ever let anyone else in. I kept silent when my heart got torn out, because who would want to hear about the boys who hurt me? It must have been self-inflicted. When my mind became too much, I kept silent.

How could the girl who had it all figured out be depressed? Lonely was an understatement.

I had a place everywhere in life, but I never belonged anywhere.

That was my first lesson. I learned how to be comfortable being alone. I realized that being on your own gives you a chance to be introspective. It also teaches you how to love yourself. The way I saw it, sometimes we all become incredibly caught up in our own lives and in what people think of us. We forget how to live.

I realized it did not matter what others said, thought or even did to me. What mattered was the quality of my person. I taught myself to disregard the comments and thoughts of others. I put that energy into bettering myself. This is the power of mindset.

Through negativity, I also came to terms with the notion of light versus dark. Although we all are made up of good and bad, some of us have more of one than the other. The harshness of others showed me how detrimental it is to be negative in this world. Many people I encountered gravitated towards evil and exerted it upon others. There was a time when I would do the same.

However, I learned how freeing being positive can be. Happiness is something we must make a conscious effort to find every day. Being a beacon of light in a world full of darkness is the only way to achieve this.

Now I am no longer the 14-year-old too scared to speak in front of crowds. I am no longer the 16-year-old too scared to leave the house without makeup on.

In their place is an 18-year-old who has realized her place in the world.

I always knew I was going to be a brilliant person who would never settle for anything less than amazing.

Discovering that our worth is dependent on the way we treat the world, not the way it treats us, was a huge turning point in my life. Happiness is a choice. Greatness is a choice.

High school taught me to never let myself be treated as less.

Cover Image Credit:

Lilo Noort

Popular Right Now

12 Signs You're A Nursing Student

Other than the fact that you're constantly seen in scrubs.
11526
views

Nursing school is...an adventure. There is nothing quite as exciting or draining as going through the process of becoming a nurse. Some days you're helping to care for tiny babies, and then other days you're off doing wound care for pressure ulcers. Nursing school is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're gonna get.

There are some key signs in people that show when they're in nursing school. I know my friends and I definitely have these characteristics (whether we want them or not).

1. Your body has no concept of time. Night shift, day shift, there's no time for sleeping. There's no time for anything but studying and work. What day is it? You don't know unless there's an exam.

2. You're addicted to coffee because of the lack of the whole time concept. You can drink coffee and fall asleep right after finishing the cup. Does coffee even work anymore? Does it matter? Oh well, still going to drink the entire pot.

3. Nothing phases you. Poop? Vomit? Yeah, no. I have cleaned up a friend's vomit without even questioning it.

4. You freak out about exams like no other. What do you know? What do you not know? What is pharmacology and why does it hate you? Why doesn't your brain understand neurology? How do you study 10 lectures in one week? WHAT WILL BE ON THE EXAM, JUST TELL US, PLEASE.

5. You can talk about anything during a meal without getting grossed out. Except your non-nursing friends do get really grossed out. You have to filter your conversations when you're at lunch with them. All your friends say things to you like:

6. Your friends never see you. You're either hiding in your room studying, going crazy in clinicals, or working your life away. "Hey, want to hang out?" "Yeah, I'm free next month...actually, next year is better for me."

7. You have two forms: study hyper-drive super-human and half dead maybe-human. "Ahhhhhhhh, gotta study, gotta study! *stays up until 5 am studying*" versus "How am I still living? *passes out facefirst into bed*."

8. You have a very odd habit of complimenting people's veins.

9. You use therapeutic communication during regular daily life. But you don't ask why. "How does that make you feel?"

10. You spend a lot of time during lectures wondering if anyone else is as confused as you. Somebody explain endocrinology to me? Hemodynamic stability? Anyone?

11. You constantly ask yourself why you chose the major you chose, but you know you care too much to change majors. There's no turning back for you.

12. But most importantly, you understand that no matter how much school sucks, you're going to be making a major difference in so many lives. And that's what really matters.

Cover Image Credit: Elissa Lawson

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

No, A Colored Student Did Not 'Steal Your Spot,' They Worked Hard To Get Here

I keep hearing this ignorant question of, "How come illegal immigrants can get scholarships, but I can't?"

121
views

Real talk, this whole "they're stealing our resources!" thing has to stop.

It ranges from welfare to acceptance letters into prestigious universities. People (and by people, I'm referring to those who identify as white) have made the assumption that they are having their opportunities stolen by people of color. That's ridiculous.

I love my university. I love the people at my university. However, when I sit in a classroom and look around at my colleagues, the majority of them are white. Of course, there are some classes that are filled with more people of color, but for the most part, they're predominantly white. So, let's say that out of a classroom of 30 students, only 7 identify as people of color.

In what world can somebody make the argument that those 7 students are stealing the spot of a white student? I don't think people realize how hard those 7 students had to work just to be in the same spot as their white counterparts.

Let me use my experience: I am a Latina woman who is attending university on a full-ride scholarship. I don't always tell people about this, because I don't feel like being asked, "wow, what did you do to get that?!" A lot. I keep hearing this ignorant question of, "How come illegal immigrants can get scholarships, but I can't?"

First off, those "illegal immigrants" you're bashing, don't even qualify for financial aid. They don't qualify for most scholarships, actually. Second, have you considered that maybe, that "illegal immigrant" worked hard in and outside of school to earn their scholarship? I received my full-ride scholarship on the basis of my GPA, but also because I am a lower-class woman of color and was selected because I am disproportionately affected by poverty and access to a quality education.

So, this scholarship was literally created because there is an understanding that minorities don't have the same access to education as our white counterparts. It's not a handout though, I had to work hard to get the money that I have now. When white students get scholarships, it's not a handout but when you're Latina like me, apparently it is.

This way of viewing minorities and their education is damaging, and further discourages these people from receiving a quality education. We didn't steal anybody's spot, we had to work to get where we are, twice as hard as our white colleagues that are not discriminated against on a daily basis.

Instead of tearing down students of color because you didn't get a scholarship, why not criticize the American education system instead? It's not our fault tuition is $40k a year, and we have no reason to apologize for existing in a space that is predominantly white.

To students of color: you worked hard to get where you are, and I am proud of you. To white students: I'm proud of you too. We all worked hard to get to where we are now, let's lift each other up, not put each other down.

Related Content

Facebook Comments