In high school, young girls go through a stage that causes them to change themselves and their thoughts every five minutes. Between what outfit to wear, and what accessories that go perfect with the pleated skirt and collared uniform shirt, a girl's mind is mind can change about her appearance daily. Should she dye her hair purple, or have purple highlights? Should she wear glitter lipstick to impress that boy we're crushing on? Should she ask her parents for extra allowance so she can buy the most expensive weave, so that she can hide the hair that grows from her scalp? Most importantly, should she hide that beautiful face with layers and layers of makeup?
The answer that I would give to this question, is no. A young lady should be able to embrace would she looks like without having to add on extra pieces. It so much fun to make yourself look the way you want, but do you feel confident with and without it? We have been placed on this earth to be different and to look different. That's how we identify ourselves. This is how we communicate.
We are able to describe one another through our features whether they are our skin, hair color or texture, eye color, or body shape. However, lately, the topic of hair has run throughout the minds of so many others. Comedian and actor, Chris Rock made a movie about “Good Hair” and singer recording artist Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, left us raising eyebrows in one of her most renowned lyrics: “You better call Becky with the good hair.”
This raises the question: “What is good hair?” This term is used frequently throughout our communities, but do we understand it?
In a community located in South Africa, young women from the Pretoria High School For Girls have been protesting using the hashtag #StopRacismAtPretoriaHigh. Tension can be felt around the school as the young black girls are being tormented because of their natural hair. The school recently placed rules saying all hair must be "brushed.”
“Cornrows. Natural dreadlocks and singles/braids (with or without extensions) are allowed, provided they are a maximum of 10 mm in diameter,” the school stated.
The list seems never ending for young girls who are told they need to tame their hair or to place a bun on their heads because it is too 'large.' What does any of this have to do with the reason for what they are going to school for? No one should be teased because of how their hair grows and I am very proud of these young ladies for embracing their hair. Everyone has different textures of hair and this should never be the top of discussion in the place where learning takes place. Math, history, science, and English are the things that should be on these young students' minds. Not the texture of hair. Natural, permed, curly, kinky, or straight should be excepted everywhere. Long, short, bald, colored, and added pieces should also be accepted. The millennials of this age use look to be accepted in different communities and to me this is sad.
My hair journey began in high school. I would wear relaxers and straighten my hair to make it seem longer, all the while, I was damaging my hair and not properly taking care of it. I ended up cutting it and was introduced to hair clips and extensions. I felt that it would make me look prettier, and I could build self-confidence. Weave, clips, and extensions became my everyday go-to. I spent so much money to make me feel a certain way about my hair, never noticing that I was not only damaging my hair, but I was damaging my spirit. I wanted big curly hair and these weaves were giving me that look that I so desired because I couldn't grow it myself. I would lie and say that it was my own hair and do any and everything possible to make it look as such. I did this until one night of my sophomore year in college.
I took out my braids from a two-month weave and my hair continued to fall out as I brushed my fingers through my scalp. In addition to the treatment of my hair (or lack thereof), not eating and drinking with the proper diet contributed to this event. My hair had enough. The ends of where my hair stopped where burned and brittle. I had a part in the back of my head that was so thick you could see my scalp. I then stopped everything and cried. I cried for three days straight, embarrassed to know that I had not taken care of what God had given to me. I did everything I could to get my hair back healthy again.
Today, almost two years later, my hair the healthiest it has ever been. I wear my hair in braids and in protective styles to prevent damage and I am happy. My spirit is happy to know that I love the way I look no matter where it is accepted or where it's not.
My challenge to all girls is to stay strong and to stay YOU. Be yourself because that is where the true happiness lies. Being natural or permed doesn't defy your happiness or the opinions of others. Take pride in how you carry yourself. Hair is something that makes you different and makes you stand out from one person to the next. Embrace it as to your liking and no one else. Hair or no hair, you are beautifully you!
