High School is hard. High School girls are mean. It will get better. These statements have been said for decades, and while they all remain true, today it is somehow harder to believe that last statement. I am a 16 year old girl, a varsity athlete, I get good grades, I like to think I'm funny, interesting, and nice. Yet, I sit at home on a Friday night and scroll through the snapchat stories of my group of friends hanging out, and I wasn't invited. Instead, I sit at home with my parents watching another recorded episode of Suits.
The situation I just described is a common occurrence, and high school girls being exclusionary has been a common occurrence for decades.
But, today through Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook the fact of these exclusions are made much more evident.
My parents always say that I should just stay off my phone, and in reality they're right. If I didn't see the story on my friends Snapchat of them at dinner, or at a party, or on a drive together I would never know. I'd never know they hung out without me, I'd never know they didn't include me in the latest group activity. But, I'm a high school girl, and as much as I wish I could just not look at my phone, or their posts, I can't.
This is when social media comes into play. The massive presence of social media in high schoolers life has undoubtedly changed the high school culture, and high school friendships.
My parents always tell me how "back in the day" no one knew if they were excluded, or what their friends did without them unless they talked about it directly in front of them. But now with snapchat stories, and snap maps, high schoolers can know what their friends are doing without them, when and even where.
The presence of social media has allowed an already existing problem to increase. Social media helped magnify exclusion. I personally think of the worst aspects of being excluded is embarrassment. While you sit at home all your friends are at Dairy Queen and going on a sunset hike, and everyone knows. Everyone knows they're together because of their Instagram story, and everyone see's you aren't their, that your friends didn't want you there.
Now instead of having to work through the feelings of being left out, you now have to worry about what everyone thinks of you. If they pitty you, or just think you're pathetic, or that you must be a real boring person because even your friends don't want to be with you. You're wondering what everyone thinks of the girls they thought were your best and closest friends posting non stop, without you.
Well, I'm here to say, I get it. And it sucks. But while it sucks right now I always remember one day you will find friends who love you, who cherish you, and who call you every time they go out because they can't imagine not having their best friend hitting the town with them. That time will come, so hang on. And maybe don't check Instagram and Snapchat every minute (and maybe I can work to start taking my own advice).
